Gustav Update:

I just got off the telephone with a wonderful man from the Louisiana Department of Transportation. He was very informative and extremely helpful after I decided it would be a good idea to contact the LA DOT for road closure/evacuation route information.

We are leaving tomorrow morning around 10am. The roads are not expected to go into "evacuation" or "contraflow" routes until late afternoon or early evening - so we should be able to get into the city right before the roads become one-way on all "bounds" traffic. 

He also updated me as to the condition of Gustav and it's possible hit location. They look at two different models - the one that has been most accurate in the past at the LA DOT, has calculated Gustav's eye making shore near Morgan City - just west of New Orleans. This is NOT good for New Orleans. This point of impact will mean the eastern side of the hurricane will be effecting New Orleans JUST LIKE KATRINA did 3 years ago. Please do not worry about my safety, as I will be securely locked down in a hospital starting tomorrow evening. However, for the thousands of New Orleans' citizens who cannot get out, please pray! They will need it ... especially if this model is correct.

I do ask that you pray for my quick and safe return from LA, however, as this trip that started out as a 1-3 day relief tour may become a 7+ day relief duty. Hopefully the relief team will be able to come in quickly after the storm - as we are the advance team. 

If you want updates, please email me at stefine.fishburn@gmail.com and give me your cell number. I will text you updates as long as I have cell service starting Monday and continuing through the storm. But when they stop coming, DO NOT WORRY! It's just interrupted cell service due to the winds/rain. I will text you when I get service back. 

Thank you again for your prayers and thoughts. It really does mean the world to me, my two brave coworkers, and the many many New Orleans who do not need to go through this again.

Plans Shmlans

Many things happen in life and sometimes you did not plan for the next adventure. I did not plan this next adventure, but I am embarking on Saturday for an experience I will surely remember forever.

Gustav is just a tropical storm right now. It is heading straight for the one place who doesn't need or want it - New Orleans. Just 3 years ago they had Katrina and they are still working on the damage from that deadly storm. Now, in just days, another storm could devastate this already fragile city. I am going to be there.

Bright Horizons has a center in New Orleans and they are in need of support from other centers. Two coworkers and I have decided we would like to be part of that support. I had plans to go to Chicago but sometimes, like I said - plans are unnecessary because you don't always plan for what life has to throw at you.

I think I am ready for this adventure and I cannot wait to head south. We will be leaving Saturday afternoon and hopefully we will be home Tuesday night or Wednesday. If not, Thursday sounds good as well! I hope everyone has a wonderful Labor Day, but in your festivities keep the many people who CANNOT evacuate even when it's mandatory. The 25 children we will be looking over and helping feel safe are children of hospital parents who must stay behind ... They have no choice. They are not crazy, stupid, or insane ... these are people who are doing what they need to do. That is why I am going. I need to do this - so please, keep my coworkers and myself in your prayers as well. Pray that this storm does not become the next Katrina. Pray that everyone escapes unscathed and healthy. New Orleans needs your prayers - and now, I do too! 

Track the storm here.

Thank you for your prayers. I'll update you all as soon as I return!

!!!Here are some pictures from my trip to New Orleans LAST August!!!

(we went at the return of tourism and now i'm heading back for an altogether different reason)

I do not remember what this is a picture of - some square in the French Quarter.

Best French Quarter bakery with beignets!

Stef and Stef pole huggin' on Bourbon Street.

A beautiful balcony in the French Quarter.

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Making Friends - childhood vs. adult ... is it really all that different?

We've been asking ourselves ... how do you make friends? In grade school it was very easy - you find a girl (or boy) that seems nice ... you know, who hasn't called you 'poopy' or 'stupid' ... and you ask, "will you be my friend?"

As an adult, it is different. You work with people all day and if you're lucky, you work with people you like and who are your age. You might befriend them through a common interest - like hating work together. However, if you are me, you do not work with people your own age - and if they are your age, they have children - which makes going out at night a little more tough (even just for dinner). Dustin, also unfortunately, works with 30-50+ year old men with large families... SO, how do we make friends?

You run into an old high school friend at a minor league baseball game in Memphis, that's how! Explanation?

Tonight, we had tickets from FedEx to a Memphis Redbirds game. We went, and I got hungry. FedEx also gave us vouchers for a free hot dog and soda - but we had to use the concessions on the first level - outside of the club seats. He, being a nice guy, went to go get the food and drinks. Upon his return, he said - "Look who I found..." And guess what! KENDAL ELVIDGE was the person he found! Now, I haven't seen Kendal since December 15 of last year at Laura now Wagahoff's wedding! So what a surprise to see him in this city of Elvis.

Turns out, he was visiting with Katie's friends from Memphis (Katie was with him too, of course) and they were in town for the weekend. Kendal saw Dustin on his way to the concession - but was unsure of his identity - he just looked familiar. However, as he exited the restroom he again saw Dustin' familiar face and had to find out why he knew this guy in Memphis! Turns out - I'm am Dustin's girlfriend and Dustin, Kendal, and I all went to Illinois together! They have met a couple of times - a few Nabor House parties and a wedding.

After leaving the game, we said "goodbye," "how strange," "what a small world." We started on our way - but I saw Katie and knew it was right to say hi! I then met her friends and said, "Will you be our friends?" ... It was a joke (but a serious one). They gave us cash for a drink on Beale Street with them and their phone number.

We just may have friends ... oh, and John (my new friend) had the very same idea I did just a few weeks ago ... make a match.com but for COUPLES to meet COUPLES!! This should be an interesting adventure -and a fun one. I hope we really, truly have found friends in Memphis, TN. I would be soooo happy ... and we already have that common interest --- friends with the same people!

So, I ask you a question - is making friends as an adult really all that different from making friends as a child? Nope --- you just have to ask! (and make sure they don't call you 'poopy face.')

The Weekend Tigger

My post called "Childhood realized?" was based on a book I was reading at the time: "The Last Lecture." I do recommend this book ...

A man, dying of pancreatic cancer is asked to give a "last lecture." ... You learn not only about his last lecture but also about how he is living his life. Despite being terminal, he lives each day as a "Tigger." You can either be a tigger or an eeyore in life ... who would you choose to be? Myself, I am going to try and be a Tigger from now on. You only get one life - so why waste it moping around? Sure, I hate my job and we have no friends here in the Memphis area --- but who would ever want to make friends with someone always down and complaining? I have a few new goals because of this book - and I know I can accomplish them ...




1. I am going to be a Tigger. I am going to live each day to its fullest and enjoy and savor every moment possible. Even if it's just another day at work - I will look for opporunities to liven it up -- play with the kids more, teach them something new, make them feel happy to be at school. If I do this for them and with them, it just may help my day go a little better as well.



2. I am going to live in the present. The "what-if's" and "what could have been's" are not going to be a priority. I am going to make each day a day I am proud of.

3. I am going to work hard. I am not just going to do my job - I am going to excel at my job. I am going to do anything possible to make it known I am one of the best in the field. It will take a while and it will mean I cannot be lazy. But I have a dream of not owing money and being debt-free, the only way to accomplish this is to be the best in my field so I can move up quickly (if not move out quickly like I want to).

4. I will be true to myself and others. Enough with the fake attitude that you can sometimes have with coworkers. If someone asks for an opinion I will be honest. Tactful. But honest. Lying or holding back will only make situations worse and do not help anyone involved.

... Most of all: I am going to stick with the job I have for now. I should be happy to even have a job. You do not always get to start at the top making 100K/year. Yes, some might - but the majority of us probably have to work our way up, proving ourselves along the way. No job is beneath anyone (another message from the "Last Lecture) and if that means working below another teacher for a year or so, then fine. I will be fine. I will.

So... these are my goals. Oh, and one more ... talk Dustin into getting a puppy. I was able to start this the past two days by taking him to places where puppies were being sold. First, we went to the Pet Expo - cute little puppies. Too expensive - but they still had puppy breath! Second, we went to the the Memphis Flea Market held once a month. There we saw a little lab/collie mix. Had we been able to hold it I may have a new little puppy right now. Dustin, however, can be very good at holding strong. He knows we cannot have a puppy right now in a small apartment --- SO, the next thing I did was make him drive around. We even stopped by a few houses and picked up flyers ... ;) I'm working on it. I will have a puppy and a house --- in a year? I hope so!

Finally - for the weekend, we took Mr. Bud on an adventure. He travelled outside! There he was terrified. He lay on the ground meowing so loudly, the neighbors probably thought I was hurting him. Then, Dustin started the Mustang. It's not super quiet, so Bud (who is terrified of any noise louder than a fly buzzing by) JUMPED! He pulled at his harness ... wriggling free he ran off. But he knew where he wanted to go... He darted around the garage, up the stairs, to the apartment door ... "MRRUAR." ... He wanted back inside. Fine. Inside he went.

I hope everyone else enjoyed a relaxing weekend. Remember - be Tigger. Enjoy every moment you have because you do not know when your time will be done. You don't want people to look back and think: "If only they had smiled more..."

I am going to be Tigger. Will you?

Update of top music ...

Back in, what was it, January or February ... my friend Heather talked about some of her favorite music at the time and I copied her and did my top music. I think it's been long enough and now I am updating my music. I have since moved and relocated ... my mood is different and the music I am surrounded by is different.

My musical choices are still extremely eclectic, as you will see.

1. Bubbly - Colbie Calliat. This has not changed --- and now that I have seen her live, she will probably remain towards the top for some time to come.

2. Love will keep us Alive - Eagles. Need I say more?

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T - Arethra Franklin. I have seen her live now as well ... and she is amazing! She had the Temptations come on stage with her and I enjoyed her show very much.

4. How Sweet it is - Michael Buble.

5. I've got You under My Skin - Michael Buble.

6. Home - Michael Buble.

(if you read my post a few days ago - you would understand the Michael Buble love)

7. My Hallelujah Song - Julianne Hough. Dancing with the Stars is where I "met" Julianne for the first time and not only is she beautiful but she is charismatic and it's hard not to love her.

8. When I think about Angels - Jamie O'Neal. I recently saw her live again as well and even though this song is a bit old, it's a great country song and so relevant to how I always feel about Dustin.

9. Breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick. Also a little older (not too much so) I recently really listened to the words and was astonished at what I had been missing. It's such a great song and one I really listen to at this juncture in my life. It talks about how you cannot look back and how the only real way to look is forward and you know, if you really think about it, life is like an hourglass glued to the tabletop ...

10. He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones. Classic Country.

Childhood realized?

Living childhood dreams ... when you are a child, everything seems so possible. You want to be a doctor or a vet. Girls want to be the first female president (and I guess, now, they still have a chance!). Maybe a child wants to go to space and be an astronaut ...

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a teacher - no joke. I wanted to go to Harvard and get a college degree and teach. I also wanted to be a veternarian. However, I quickly realized that not all animals live forever and sometimes you even have to make the tough choice to end a life - I could never do that. I never really fantasized about being President, which is probably a good thing for this country! Now, here I am teaching. So with one childhood dream career realized, I should be happy and proud. I am. Sometimes, however I wonder what other dreams I had ... heck, I can barely remember yesterday!

I was always ready to get out of Illinois. I did that! So I guess that would be TWO childhood dreams realized.

I had friends growing up (shocker!) and I do remember some of their dreams ... One wanted to go on SNL. This same friend wanted to be part of the WNBA (and you know who you are!). Another friend practiced playing mom a lot and wanted to have a family and work with children. One of my friends wanted to be a pro-golfer (he could have done that ... maybe he still will).

I do remember that I always wanted to sing ... I wanted to be on stage and perform. BUT. If you have heard me sing or, should I say 'attempt' to sing, then you know that will probably not be a realized dream. I have to thank Playstation for giving me the chance, however, to pretend I can sing with games like American Idol (where, thank you Simon, I became America's next American Idol!).

I also wanted to be a model - but with my parents genes - modeling was going to be a bit of a tough dream (I'm only 5'2" if you don't know me). I did get the chance to apply to modeling school in 1999 as a freshman in high school. We went to Chicago and there we learned it costs most people to even try to begin a modeling career ... so that was the closest I ever got! (Unless you count my modeling shoots with Clark in college in which I was published in a local newspaper!)

Writing was and continues to be a favorite of mine ... I wanted to be writer in my sophomore and junior years of high school. Had I went to a different college, that may have been my major - but I went to UofI and did not take that road. I did have a short stint writing for local newspapers around Champaign - but it was sports writing with little or no creativity behind it.

Photography is a hobby and I would love to see what I could do with it. I guess, a dream of mine would be to be a famous celebrity photographer! I have always enjoyed America's Next Top Model ... but not for the modeling or "reality." I love it for the photographs taken and shown at the end of the program... they make it seem so easy and effortless, but after being behind a camera I know otherwise. I have had a dream to make a celebrity magazine that focuses not on fashion, not on scandal, not on lies ... but instead on the good doings of celebs and how they are just like anyone else. Sure, they have more money and sure they are pampered ... but like we get insurance and 401k's, this is a benefit of their career path (however, they have a lot of negatives that come with the job --- like the constant attention ... if some could just realize how to make that a positive!). Anyway .. that's a dream I have.

So, with that and at age 24, I'm at a place where I do not know what do with myself or where to go. I hate my job ... and even though the children are wonderful, I am having a very difficult time with going to work each day. When you work with children, you have to be able to put on a happy face and put aside your emotions. This is very tiring and wears you down quickly. However, children do have a magical way of helping you forget... whether it's a hug (or two million hugs) from Abby or a smile from Zoe, while I'm WITH the children ... things are okay. However, like I said the problem is not the children. The problem is the actual job ... I do not want to assist and I think I should have more control over a room (with the option to set it up, run it, and love it the way I want to do so). The unfortunate part of preschool life and the career behind it -I do not see that happening any time soon. I do not want to direct a program. I do not want to Lead other teachers. I want to be responsible for curriculum and for documentation ... but I do not think that this is a position ... could I create it? Not at this center ...

Now what do I do? I'm stuck ... I need to make more money (and I know money is not happiness - and I do believe in that). But, I have student loans and I did not start collecting these loans to be an assistant teacher at a center for less than 20K a year. I want (and need) to be happy and excited to go to work. I have not felt that feeling ever and I do know that feeling can exsist because I have seen my mom before going to work when she actually liked her job. I have seen Dustin go to work happy and come home happy ... I want that. I want to feel like I am doing what God meant for me to do ... A friend said tonight, pray and listen to God and he will help me find the right direction... He will, and if I only could learn to listen harder so I knew what he was saying or needed from me ...

I wonder what other types of dreams my friends had growing up and what their dreams are now - and if you are an old friend reading this - please share!

Another summer day...

I'm still trying to get used to calling Memphis "home." Every time we enter the city limits, I begin to realize that this is now my home. When people ask me where I'm from - they probably won't mean where were you born and raised, but where you reside ... And no longer will I answer with "central Illinois --- Farmersville (or Springfield, depending on my mood). Instead I will say, "Memphis."

This a sad thing. Memphis is great and all and I have enjoyed this new adventure. But I miss HOME. You know, where you can just walk into your friends' houses. I miss having friends ... I mostly lost touch after high school and while I made friends in college, they're all in Chicago and here I am, in MEMPHIS. I miss my bedroom at my parent's house. I miss having the option to go see family (even though I never did visit outside of holidays, I COULD if I WANTED to.). I miss small town drama - you know, Farmer Bob is putting up ANOTHER pig building! ... I don't think that happened, but you know - drama that is actually humorous. I miss being from a small town and the shelter it provides. But, on that ... I am very happy to be surrounded by different people from different lifestyles and backgrounds. Because even though I miss being where everybody knows your name - I do not necessarily miss everyone knowing everything you do!

All of this talk about home reminds me of Michael Buble's song.. "Home." That song is really nice to listen to ... his voice is so smooth and it's almost haunting for some reason. Probably because when he sings he reminds you of those who have died --- Bobby Darin, Elvis, Sinatra, etc. He is a modern day classic ... and I have to say I enjoy listening to him sing.

"Another summer day, has come and gone away..."

"And I’m surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

Oh, let me go home

Oh, I miss you, you know"

Google and my Preschool Teachers

I just watched "Dewey Cox" .. awful. Just AWFUL (at least in my honest opinion). But it did remind me of a real movie I recently watched with Dustin's parents... I couldn't remember what it was though.

This is when I have to thank Google and all of my preschool teachers in the past. First, Google because they allow you to search for anything. Second, my preschool teachers because they worked hard, like I do with children every day, on attention span! I spent an hour googling Billy Bob Thornton independent movies only to discover (and later recall) that it was Kevin Spacey in the movie "Beyond the Sea." If you enjoy Bobby Darin's music --- watch this! Kevin Spacey can really sing ...

Kevin Spacey singing as Bobby Darin
(picture from:http://www.webwombat.com.au/entertainment/movies/images/beyond-the-sea.jpg)

Walkin' in Memphis...

I have been quite the horrible blogger - and for anyone who actually tries to check up on this and read something new (and hopefully interesting), I do sincerely apologize.

I would like to blame it on being way too tired to blog ... but I think the truth is I actually blogged myself out for awhile. I have always loved being on the computer and I can remember the days when it used to cause fights in the Fishburn homestead (before the days of unlimited, cable Internet --- you know, back in the pay for the minutes dial up after you walked to school, uphill, both ways, barefoot, in the snow?) ... Okay, so anyway - I am not like that anymore. I do the random check on Facebook (to see if anyone has poked me or written on my wall) and check my email. I pay my bills and then check my bank account to make sure I should have paid my bills (I will have to think about reversing that trend soon I think). Besides that, I have decided there is nothing to do on the Internet. But alas, I am mistaken.

I am supposed to be keeping up with my life on here. And I will attempt to catch you up on the most interesting details so far (since March). After March and snow - Memphis just gets different. Hot. Then cool. Now, it's Hot. But before it got HOT - 95 in Spring - more happened. And it's not always weather.

We finally moved into the new place - and I must say it is much nicer. We had a great time and really, had very little to do. Dustin's mom, thinking as a mom does, hired movers. They saved the day, as Dustin ended up working overnights and strange hours ... After the movers were finished and Dustin's mom left - my parents and the TOVEYS showed up. It seems that most people are surprised about the fact my parents enjoyed these two crazy guys from college and really thought they were good guys - despite the "little one" being kicked out of bars, throwing punches on the stairs, and passing out on the living room floor. Not to mention, my dad missed out on great BBQ as we had to leave the restaurant as well --- but to the "little one's" credit - two strange guys were buying him double jack/cokes at the bar all night....

Unfortunately my parents and Memphis (the puppy) had to leave and life returned back to normal - just in a new apartment. Mr. Bud returned (as is seen on the photo blog). Dustin and I resumed working 40 hour weeks. Weekends have consisted of way too much travel. And now it's May.

My job is going, yet I am continuing to wish I could find a new career ... But I am going to stick out just a little longer for the hope that something good will happen. It is great how understanding my boss is about time off, and she has allowed quite a bit so far - I am grateful.

A few things that have made me smile (in no particular order)
1. Going home and seeing my parents at home and sleeping in my bed.
2. SEEING AVA!!! We hung out and she made me smile so many times ... I have surely missed that angel
3. Nashville visits (including the Grand Ole Opry!)
4. Mr. Bud opening up the door to feed himself (a recent development in his repertoire of amazing skills ...)
5. Mr. Bud sounding like a ghost instead of an old accordian
6. SMOLA - need I say more?
7. Graceland - yes, we finally did it. We enjoyed it.
8. Sunset Symphony and seeing my two favorite children from the child care center)
9. AFV nights on ABC Family (and Dustin laughing hysterically at a ball montage)
10. BBQ festival and free food and drinks
11. Music Festival and friends

....

That's all for now folks. ... I'll try (but do not promise) to do better. I know this was kinda dry, and I hope to liven it up again sometime soon (but my want to write has dwindled, so please bear with me until it returns).

New Place

Last night we took a short drive before eating at a Sushi Restaurant (Sekisui) and went by our future home... I took a couple of pictures, but because I didn't have my good flash attached, they are not the greatest. But here! Take a look at our yard, driveway, and garage ... I cannot WAIT to be there.

Our Attached Garage/Driveway ... We can fit all of our cars!!! (we have three)

This is part of the yard. If we ever get a doggy, they will have a small place to play!!! And it will be big enough for a game of bags or washers! :)

The place is called Camden Grove. Here is the sign in the entrance. And the best part you ask? We're REAL close to the clubhouse and pool (walking). We are close to the tennis courts. Finally - there are NO speed bumps! We are done Done DONE with speed bumps.

Life Cycle of Broccoli.

Snow!!! So, it was nearly 6 inches in less than a day ... and now it's nearly gone (also in less than 24 hours). Here is the birth and death of "Broccoli" ... Frosty's close cousin.

One large ball. Conception?

Two large balls. Second Trimester?

Shaping his mis-shapen head. Third Trimester?

Placing the vegetable face/head parts. Ta-da! We have a friend named Broccoli. Birth.

He has a butt just like you and me.

Best Buds... Dustin and Broccoli.

We're shakin' hands ... "Nice to meet you Broccoli. My name is Stefine."

I love Broccoli.

Family Portrait!!!

Here is the MAN watchin' over the two most important cars on the lot.

Sadly, all lives will end someday ... Broccoli's life was short, but he enjoyed his time "thumbs-ing up" the drivers who passed at Lincoln @ Wolfchase on Vardon Lane. RIP Broccoli. Thanks for giving use to old vegetables ...

Just hear those sleigh bells ring-a-ling..

jing-jing-jing-a-ling ....

It snowed. ~4inches? little more? little less? Memphis does not have snow plows -it didn't snow last year. It hasn't snowed this year. Until today. Today it snowed and it was HILARIOUS! Memphians ... it's a different world down here. The threat of snow was enough to close nearly every school early if not completely. Our center was open, but parents started rolling in about noon and most children were gone by 3 (we close at 6). Needless to say, I got the late afternoon/early evening time off and so did Dustin.

We used the time to go out to eat at an old fav - B-dubs! We played the trivia and really enjoyed ourselves. It's been one of the best nights since I've moved down. We laughed a lot tonight and I believe I know why ... the snow! Dustin LOVES snow and he's been in an unbelievably good mood tonight. At one point, I may have answered a trivia question really stupidly but his answer to one question tops the cake! Did you know Manhattan was around in 2900B.C. Before Christ, Manhattan was splitting in to two parts! (The correct answer was EGYPT!) ... It was funny - but he was just answering too quickly. However, when I told him that "tulle" (a fabric) was named after a southern French town he said no, "satin" was... hmmm... I was right: "tulle." THEN! Huffy bikes had banana seats and tassels and baskets ... Dustin said "Schwinn" ... hmm... WRONG AGAIN! Huffy was right ... we coulda won right there with those two questions. Oh well ... there's always next time ...

With the Snow Warnings around here, traffic was a little silly - but not as bad as I would have imagined. It may have, and probably, did have something to do with the fact that so many schools closed early and most cars were off the road by 4pm and not all out at the same time. If that had happened, I can only imagine that there would have been chaos and disorder (and accidents every 1/10 mi). On a sunny day, one can expect to sit in traffic for an hour at the end of the day - so getting home in 45 minutes was by no means a small miracle today when the roads were wet (not covered) with snow. As a matter of fact, there wasn't even a snowflake on the road yet!

Traffic has by far been the most difficult thing to adjust to. As most of you know, I am from Springfield - it took 8 minutes to go 9 miles for my daily commute to Ava's. (I miss this, but not as much as that little angel ... I NEED PICTURES LORI!) Now when I used to live in Farmersville and worked all the way on the north side of Springfield at Northfield Inn, Suites and Conference Center at exit 100 (about 25-30 miles) it took 25 minutes (30 on a heavy traffic day). Now, I work 19.2 miles away from my current place of employment. In the morning, it takes about 40-50 minutes to get to work (the fly-over at I-40 and I-240 is the worst and construction at Walnut Grove does not help). In the evenings, it can be anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour ... it changes. daily. unexpectedly. I will adjust and I am getting pretty used to leaving one hour before work even begins!

The job is going better, now that I am starting to settle in. I still do not want to teach forever, but it's okay for now. The kids are wonderful (for the most part) and I do not fear a biting or punch upon entering the room. I do not fear that I will be kicked or spat at either. I am called Ms. Stefine and they listen most of the time. We have clear routines and they are amazing at keeping them (or adjusting to a new one as necessary!).

I have noticed that I now also call many people "Miss" or that I say "Yes, ma'am" more than I ever have in my life. I just cannot help it.

Tomorrow is the Tigers vs. UAB game. We are going. We may stop by Beale Street. I hope I can capture some good pics on the camera of this great street ... Bourbon Street of Memphis. I also hope the Tigers win. I also hope to get more snow pictures. Oh, and I also hope to build a snow man with a carrot nose! :)

Good night!

It's been awhile...

Sorry for the gap in posts. I haven't been all that busy which leaves little, or nothing, to write about. Life is good. I like Memphis, still. I know in my last post I breifly mentioned moving. Well, Dustin finally made the decision. He wants to move.

We went to Nashville this weekend and drove separately so Dustin could work on the Saab. Well, while stopping at a small gas station on the way, he noticed the emblem on the hood was fading. Most of the bright blue has vanished from just one summer in the intense Memphis sun. Then, there are the cracking bumpers... this alone was enough to convince Dustin that he needs/wants an attached garage! So, Camden Grove Apartmetns, here we come!!! (And Mr. Bud --- you'll be home soon!)

As mentioned, we went to Nashville this weekend but I have been sick since Friday night. The Tennessee flu. It's powerful enough to deserve to be a sentence. Three children have died from it (not in my center) and 14% of the children from my center were out sick last week. I have stayed home the past two days - using sick time during this flu season. I hate the flu. I have lost the fever, but I still have the weakness and tiredness. My ears hurt. My tonsils hurts. My throat hurts. I hurt. I know I will be better soon, though, so no worries! I NEVER used to get sick this often ... but this has been a rough winter for me in the way of colds and the flu.

My parents were fortunate enough to escape the cold of Illinois last week and head to Miami. How unfair is THAT? Nevertheless, they REALLY needed to get out of that cold, windy, icy, stormy, bland state! They love warmth and water - so Miami was perfect. I know it was a great escape for my dad who tends to get Seasonal Affect Depression (Disorder) ... S.A.D. They had to board the kitties while they were gone though ....

The place they boarded Mr. Bud actually had the nerve to call him AGGRESSIVE. If you know the Mr. Bud you know that he does not have an aggressive bone in his body! The only time I have ever heard the cat HISS was when chased or provoked by the evil vacuum machine. (Also, a bath may prove to be a little too traumatic - but that only causes yells of desperation, no hissing or aggressiveness!) Now, he does not like to be caged up ... so he may have gotten cranky if they gave him NO attention! This is a cat who has seen 6 different veterinarians and has never once been called aggressive. These are vets that have cut him open, taken him apart, and changed his SEX! He did not hiss or fight them, even after the operations!!! I am so upset that my cat got no attention while away ... he should have been here with me and I would have taken care of him!

... On a new note ...

This coming Friday (Feb. 29) is the annual Unoffical Celebration at the University of Illinois. Last year I had to miss it because of work. This year, be prepared! I am coming back!!! It will never be the same as two years ago (it was in the lower 70s and sunny), but I know it will be a good time. So many people are coming back for the occasion and I cannot wait to see each and every person!!!

Finally, check the photo-of-the-day later this evening!!! I will finally be back!!! Are you ready?

First Day

I started my "new" job today! I use quotation marks because it's not a new job persay . . . I have done this job for the past year (and had classes for the past few years). I like the children so far, although they are testing me a little bit. I, being somewhat used to entering a classroom as a stranger, am used to children trying to learn how far they can push me. However, Graham kicks butt! He's a cute little three year old who did not test me ONCE! Blone hair, blue eyes and cute smile... I'm sure he's ROTTEN! ;)

I cannot wait to learn more about each of these children. I am very tired tonight, as I had gotten quite used to my January work schedule . . . working 8:30-12:00 was quite nice!

Then! I called Lori tonight and had a chance to "check" up on the old crew. I miss those guys a lot. And what's more precious than little Ava getting on the phone and saying brightly, "HI PEPPY!" I really love her... she melts my heart. If only I could be in two places at once, but alas, I cannot. I have others I need to call and I will .. Amber, Mom, Grandma ... I need to call you all!!!

I hope I get a photo up tonight. Other than that, I'm out. I'm tired. Love y'all!!! (OH! And if I start to develop a slight southern twang - I hope you don't mind. I'm fixin' to try not to... lol)

I made it!

this is an important day for me ... i realized something - although i don't know how long i've been there..

i made tbdc! ;) that's an awesome thing --- thanks todd. but for the 1000th time... it's stef - with an "F"... sheesh! STEFINE. STEF. but i'm happy with steph - it's toddbey.com!

today... we are going apartment hunting (kind of). we're not really hunting. we're checking out a place we really seem to BOTH like - and trust me, that's huge! it's a great price with a garage ... a garage! the 'stang will be safe!!! so we'll have to check it out ... here, you can check it out to! check out the pics and such - and let me know what YOU think. ... .maybe i'll take some pictures if they'll let me too! :)

but come on - a garage, pet friendly, private entry way, small yardage area ... nice! maybe we'll like it - maybe we won't! it all depends on the visit today.

we've also toyed around with the idea of a downtown apartment - i mean, how awesome will the festival in May be if we could just go HOME instead of a hotel!!! but the area surrounding downtown is not so great and there aren't the conviences there are in cordova and other surrounding memphis areas... so we don't know --- we'll see. but i like the idea of downtown still (and it's close to the river -which would really help my photo-of-the-day site and inspiration)!
------ ------ -------
also - staying true to my "beliefs" ... GO KEVIN!!! You can make it back to back Daytona wins, right? Show the Hendrick organization that they CAN be stopped!!! (I feel like my NASCAR love will fit in much better down here - at least I hope so!)

It's been one week ...

First, let me apologize for going a week without posting ... It's been a long week and I must say that I have neglected this part of my life just a little. Is it sad that it became a part of my life? I don't know - I like to write, so I will say no.

The past week has been great. Last week, around this time actually, I arrived in Memphis. The car was fully loaded - stuffed with trashes and treasures! Things that I could NOT leave behind were all in my car! (I couldn't leave behind the Mr. Bud - but I unfortunately was forced to) I also had to leave behind my big pink stuffed elephant. He's cute ... but large. He missed his ride. Maybe next time.

It was funny really! Dustin had told me earlier last Saturday (around 12 or so) that he was "cleaning." I figured it wouldn't be much, but I still thought he might clean something! HA! I walked in and it was like a bomb of clothes had exploded across the apartment. Not to mention, he has about 3 or 4 months (at least) worth of daily newspapers strewn about the entry. (He's recently went to a Sunday only subscription ... probably a good idea!) But I was here ... finally. Without shedding a tear.

Then night came and it was time for bed. I cried then. I miss my mom and dad. They are amazing. I cannot believe they are so far away now! When I was in school - they were only an hour away - now they're 6 hours away. It's a totally different feel. I also do not feel at home yet. Memphis is not home... I am not a Memphian. Maybe someday ... but not yet. I still feel like a Farmersvillian to tell the truth. You know the Kenny Chesney song, "Back Where I Come From..." Well Kendal and I used to always put in "Farmersvillian" in place of "Tennessean" ... The irony! Now I'm a Tennesseean!!! I just don't feel like it yet...

I have cooked dinner for Dustin, went grocery shopping, done the dishes, washed the laundry, and organized (some). I hate to organize too much right away because we're contemplating a new apartment company, seein's how this dump decided to raise rent by 24/mo! It's only a 1 bed/1 bath place and they want 825/mo! They are nuts! We've researched a bit and have discovered that 2 beds/1 - 1.5 baths are actually cheaper. So yeah... we're thinking about a move!

Until then, I just sit and wait for Monday. I start my job then ... and I cannot wait. I saw the classroom on Tuesday and it seemed GREAT! The children were playing so nicely and quietly and the room was so perfect. It will be extremely different being in a classroom again - not to mention one that is separated from the rest of the classrooms! I do miss Ava quite a bit and think about her every day. I cannot believe it's been nearly two weeks since I last saw her pretty little face and smile. I bet she's talking even more than she was!!! Maybe even using the potty? I don't know ... but I love her and miss her like family. These three year olds I will be with will be great and I am positive I will fall in love (I do that easily). BUT, they will NEVER be Ava.

Keep an eye out for new photo-of-the-day stuff... I've slacked there too. I've been busy with adjustment - but soon! :) Ciao!!!

Less than 24 hours...

So, after 24 years together - I have less than 24 hours left with my parents as "roommates." I must say, I am quite sad. I've tried to hide it - and I think I've done a pretty good job at it. I have no reason to hide it, but I think I was trying to spare feelings for my mom and dad. I'm a daddy's girl and my mom is my best friend. If I was strong and excited, it would make them feel the same way! I now see that there is no logic behind that line reasoning because it probably made me seem as if I wasn't going to miss them. Over the past 24 years, we have been through so much together. They think that I've turned out to be an amazing person and I'm thrilled that I have made them proud. But seriously - they do not give themselves nearly enough credit. They say they weren't good people - but bad people don't raise good daughters! They have always been patient with me (and if they weren't patient, they probably had reason not to be!). They have always respected me and my personal space - and I am a very difficult person with everchanging boundaries - I mean, for 3-4 years, I would barely hug either one of them. Hugging still isn't big - but it's also no longer an ISSUE. It used to be an issue...

I am a very lucky girl. Even as I sit here, with so little time left, I watch both of them sound asleep on the couch and I miss them already. I'm still here - but I feel like I have already moved. So many memories come to mind when I look back. Most of my memories start in Illinois. I remember 9th street and Nora like yesterday. In Springfield, I became my dad's little slugger... we'd go outside and play catch together (although mostly I was chasing the ball because I couldn't catch and my dad was chasing the ball because I couldn't throw). I remember telling my third grade teacher that my dad would not ALLOW me to do my homework (that's why it wasn't even started...). They called my parents. I got in trouble ... But before school - if I was up and ready to go by 7am-ish, then I would get to go to Mel-o-Cream. Best donuts! Even better than Krispy Kreme ... Sometimes I even got McDonald's breakfast burritos.

Then, they made me move... I didn't so much mind once I got settled in. Nora Street. Farmersville. Kyle Harvey. He was my neighbor and my best friend ... we spent all of our time together. My parents loved him and his older sister - so I spent a lot of time there. When I was at home, we share our time with Chance - the best Lab in the world (at that time). This was the first all girl's sleepover, tent party I ever had ... and well, last. But I will NOT go into the embarrassing details - let's just say I referenced Adam and Eve to try and get out of trouble!

Then we moved again - to Studebaker Avenue. So many memories ... this is where I spent most of my years growing up. This is where my parents really began to shape who I am today. We had nearly all of our fights and disagreements in this house. We lost many best friends (animals) here. My parents allowed me to date for the first time while living in this house. I got my first curfew here and I got driven home after drinking WAY too much here ... I made new friends and became a little bit more "cool" here. But what is "cool?" MY PARENTS. They were cool. I got my first car here (and it was followed by many more). I had my first real relationship at this house and he was welcome at any time (until he "broke my heart."). Then - he wasn't welcome because my dad doesn't stand for the breakage of my heart ... what dad would? I left for college ... I came to visit ... Dustin came to visit ... a gun was brought out ... Dustin stuck around.

Now, we're back in Springfield - where it started 18 years ago. I wish could remember California - but I cannot. So for me, my memories with my parents begin and end in Springfield, Illinois. They don't end, but they do change from here on out ... now I will be visiting. I will not be "living" here. Tomorrow I leave and head for a new place - somewhere new and in uncharted territory. My parents will always be wonderful people and they will always be a part of my life - even if its from 400 miles away. Their opinions matter to me and their opinion of me will always remain the most important. I love them. When I think of them, I think of a song sung by Faith Hill...

Daddy take me with you
I promise I'll be good
Daddy, this is next time
And momma said I could

Sittin' in the front seat ridin' down town
An icecream cone
I'd wrap him around
My little finger
Tighter then my baby could

You can make a tear go a long long way
When you're daddy's little girl

Well he tightened my bike chain from 7 to 13
Taught me to drive when I was a wild thing
Reached and he prayed while I made some mistakes
That I wouldn't have made if I'd have done it his way

Now he hugs me when he sees me
We talk about the past
He tries to give me money
And I try and give it back

He's a book of advice
More then I need
The look in his eyes is saying to me
Let me help you all I can
While I'm still in this world
What will you do when you're daddy's gone
And you're daddy's little girl

I'll always be "daddy's little girl." ... And I know my tears will always work!!!

STILL sick ... But life goes on...

So ... this has been a crappy week. I got to spend ONE day with my best friend Ava. One lousy day! I shouldn't complain though - it is better than no days at all. It was also a great day, so I really can't be too upset. I know I will see her again - it's not "goodbye," it's "see ya soon!" I love that little princess ... she rocks! Have I mentioned how much she rocks before? Hmm... I'm sure it's come up in conversation.

However, today is Thursday - and I leave early afternoon on Saturday. As a result, I really need to get my butt in gear! I am going to make my mom help me - and she even brought me boxes from Zara's! Thanks for the help guys! ;) I will miss my weekly (sometimes only monthly) visits to the greatest body shop on earth! Those guys are just hilarious - and the way Mike always makes fun of me for not having a job ... :-p Why Mike makes my blog? I don't know ... don't ask! Anyway ... there are a lot of things I am going to miss ... but so many things lay ahead that I can't dwell on what I'll miss and instead I'm looking forward! Like I said ... it's NOT "goodbye!"

Off to pack!!! FOR REAL THIS TIME!!!

Today is Wednesday

I'm still sick. I was sick yesterday. I am sick today. The aches aren't AS bad as yesterday, but the throat (which I should mention was FINE yesterday) sounds like a miniature cat (or animal with claws) went down into my throat - uninvited - and scratched the heck out of it! I sound awful! I couldn't even yell at Kitten to get off of the counter ... stupid cat.

So ... with only two days left, I am too tired to pack! I tried and I was out of breath in just a few minutes. I'm so weak, my coughs are weak -meaning, nothing is working its way out and yet, I'm still pained by the effort of coughing. I want so badly to get all my things packed away and ready to move! I am so excited ... even after a night where tornadoes ravaged the state of Tennessee. But see, my guy is so great he even drove down the road to help Laura feel safe (she's a fellow torando-phobe!)! So I know that he will help comfort me if it should happen after I move down. Let us not forget either that Saturday's low temperature in Springfield is forecasted to be FOUR degrees. Memphis's? TWENTY NINE. That's a 25 degree difference - just in case you don't know your math ... So yea ... I think it's worth an extra tornado or two (but not three).

So, my list is this: I think it's pretty much accurate. Somewhere in there might be some extra work for the Springfield Bright Horizons (i.e. lesson planning) and making my mom help me pack. She's supposed to do that, right? I think so . . .

1. Pack
2. Laundry
3. Pack
4. Pack
5. Goodbye's... tears ... smiles ...
6. GAS IN CAR
7. MEMPHIS!

On that note ... with the energy I've stored up while sitting somewhere (and not coughing) I am going to start a load of laundry and pack! :)

The Weekend...

I have had the greatest weekend ... But Chicago is always like that. Dustin has some pretty spectacular friends, and each time I get to hang out in this group of wonderful people, I feel lucky. They are great friends and smart, successful people! What else could you ask for in a circle of friends? I also got to be around Leslie and Kathy - and that is ALWAYS wonderful! Before I start boring you with how wonderful my life is and how great my friends are, I will move on!

I am sure that many of you watched the Super Bowl. I have never been a fan of the New England Patriots. I do not know if I have any founded reasons - but I do feel they are an arrogrant team and whether or not they are cheaters, they will be known as such. It is hard to respect a team such as this - unless you have always been a fan. I am proud of those who stand behind a team despite trials and tribulations! I, however, am not a fan. I am not a fan of the New York Giants either - but! A team that can start a season at 0-2 start and turn around and squeeze into the playoffs and then remain nearly perfect throughout, winning and fighting the whole time, is team that will win my respect.

I also have to say that Eli Manning has been scrutinized and contrasted to Peyton so often, that I could not have been happier for his win against the Patriots last night. He is now a Super Bowl champion WITH his brother - cementing the fact that he is a football player, and one that will always be remembered ... he, the MVP and QB, brought down the best team in the country and humbled them. His defense stopped the most aggressive and highest scoring offense and by stop, I mean STOP. They scoffed at NYG's prediction of only 17 points - and instead, only scored 14.

It makes me happy to see a deserving team fight and win.

This has nothing to do with my move to Memphis and my moving adventures. So far, my blog has not really been filled with these sort of entries - and I do apologize. However, do not feel discouraged ... for come Saturday, I will finally be in Memphis. I will have moved there - and I will finally have new adventures.

For the first time in a whole month, I saw Dustin again. We have never had better conversations or understood each other so well. It was one of the best weekends together in a long time. He actually seems excited and happy. I have not really questioned his happiness or excitement, but I have not seen Dustin since the first of the year and could not see if he was truly happy to have this step in our relationship coming so fast. He was even willing to talk to me about making our apartment "home." Home. I cannot wait to make it home ... Someday I may even talk him into saving money to decorate and make it a little more inviting.

I know that I will always have a home in Springfield (and fortunately they move somewhere else someday), but I am excited for a new beginning. To start a "home" somewhere with someone is so incredible and so grown up! I'm growing up ... ;)

Speaking of growing up ... I am also going to try and do my taxes for the year! Woohoo ... maybe I'll get something in return?

BAKING!

I was a baking machine today ... You know what sucked? I was making cupcakes and before starting - I did not realize we only have one cupcake pan and it only has 6 cupcake holes... So! what could have taken 30 minutes --- took about 2 hours! Oh well ... they look and smell delicious ...

I also made my own buttercream frosting! It is very delicious, but I don't know what to do with the leftovers!!! :( It's so yummy, I hate to throw it out but we have no more butter (for the butter recipe cake mix). So..... I don't know what to do ... Maybe I'll just eat it! (Even if it will make me super sick!)

YUMMY cupcake time!!!

Winter Storm Warning

12.9 INCHES ... that's a big snowfall! I did not go to work today ... my dad said there was no way me and my little car would be safe out on the roads. By the looks of the roads 6.5 hours later, it was probably a wise choice to forgoe the money for today (even though I miss Ava like crazy... we had such a great week together!).

Dustin is on his way up as I type .... I don't think he realizes what I mean by 100% snow covered roads. In a few hours, he will either understand or the hard work of the snow plowers will get the roads under control. Either way, when he gets to Springfield - he will see an abundance of the white stuff he has missed while living in Memphis!

Time to go clean up around here now. My mom is coming home... she is sick. I hope she feels better soon ... ... ... It sucks to be sick!

Check out my photoblog later - I will have my photo from yesterday and my photo for today up soon! (You can guarantee one will be of the snowfall in some shape or form... I'd make a snowman - but it's poor packing snow...)

This weekend ...

WOW! This weather ... it's insane! One day it's GORGEOUS and I'm outside feeding ducks at the park with Ava (and a mean, grumpy goose tried to attack us). That afternoon it's icy-nastiness. Then it's just cold and windy... and now, inches upon inches of snow are falling.

I used to love winter. I looked forward to it - looked forward to the newsman saying "Panhandle District #2 - cancelled. No longer do I get to look forward to such things. Even last year, when working as a full time teacher in a daycare - I worked at the ONE child care center who did not close after over 8 inches of snow. (Seeing as how it's state run and the state did not shut down - we could not either). SO even then - after becoming a teacher I did NOT get a snow day! Here we are, one year later - and I still will not get one. Instead, I get to brave the treacherous conditions outside - making my way through the scary snow. It's not pretty when it's on the road. It's brown and grey and ugly. I hate it. However, looking outside now - I do remember my childhood days when I used to look at snow as "angel feathers." So today - despite my bitterness about snow - I shared this with Ava. She quietly and inquisitively repeated me while gazing out at the slowly falling flakes ... "angel feathers?" ... This makes the snow worthwhile.

But tomorrow evening, when I'm on the road yet again, I will probably forget this childhood wonderment about why snow is snow. I will remember that it is actually formed in the clouds and falling to the ground - nothing like the images of angel feathers. It will be cold, grey, and slick. Dustin will be driving, and while he is a great driver, I will be scared! I am always scared when I am not in control of the wheel... but he is awesome, and a great driver and I cannot wait to brave the conditions with him tomorrow. We will be going to Chicago! Mardi Gras ... Superbowl ... it will be a fantastic weeked filled with fantastic friends.

I am most excited for Saturday - Mardi Gras. On this day, I will once again be reunited with SMOLKSA! I love this girl ... she is beautiful and sweet and perfect. She is a great friend and even though we're already far away from each other, we will be only further away from each other after I move. This makes me sad. I will also see Leslie ... who also rocks. My little cousin Em makes me think of Leslie - she seems so much like Leslie. Great. Wonderful. Unique. I like unique people.

So, with only a day left until I see Dustin and all my Chicago friends, I sit here inside. I am bored - but every so often, I may venture over the window seat. There I can look outside and imagine that it's the angels' feathers shedding as spring will be here soon and if their wings have too many feathers, they will surely get way too hot! HEAT! I only know Illinois heat ... This year I will learn about MEMPHIS HEAT. It's too cold right now to think it could ever be hot again, isn't it?

I'll Do My Songs too ... :)

So, my friend Heather copied a friend of hers and listed her top songs in her most previous blog. She then said it would be "awesome" if anyone else wanted to do this as well - and well, if you know me and how I feel about music, you would know that I would be up to this "challenge." Although, challenge, I fear, is not the correct word as it is not challenging to look at my top songs on ITunes and the IPod. :) So here goes ...

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

This song just makes me really smile. I love her sweet songs - and her voice is great. I get bubbly when I hear this tune - it's so ME. I really love her whole album, and that is why it all on my top played (however, I will not list the whole album, and instead will go on...)

Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn

Lonestar (the country group) also sings this song - but, in my opinion, Marc's is much better. I think I just like the catchiness of the song and how it really makes me feel like I'm in Memphis. Although I do hear they play it quite frequently in Memphis, so I will soon tire of it I'm certain (but until then! "I'm walkin' in Memphis!")

Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra

Classic. Frank. You can't beat it... I'm really eclectic when it comes to music as you will surely see in this list of my top played songs (however, I do seem to think I have a pretty good taste in music... you may beg to differ, but that's your opinion!)

Far Away - Nickelback

Not new. But after seeing Nickelback live back in 2001 at the Pageant in St. Louis, I've been a fan. Far Away has been a song that really reminds me of my feelings about being away from Dustin. It is pretty sappy and nothing original ... but it is moving ...

If You're Gonna Leave - Emerson Hart

Dustin introduced me to this singer - and if you enjoyed Tonic in the 90's, then you would enjoy this singer (as he was the Lead singer of the group that brough us "If You Could Only See." This particular song is much like you may remember hearing from Tonic - and it is apparent he was the lead singer/songwriter. He did write the songs "If you could only see," and "Open your eyes."). It's really a moving song lyrically ...

I Loved Her First - Heartland

Country love song - it's pretty standard. But I love the music in the background --- it's such a sweet, simple song with a fiddle and good male voice. The first time I heard it was at a wedding I shot - and I even teared up a little (I didn't even know the bride! I was an assitant photog!)!

Lost in this Moment - Big and Rich

When I heard this song by the duo who brought us "Save a Horse, Ride Cowboy" I was a little taken aback ... it's another standard love song - but I know the words, so I sing along ...

Moon River - Audrey Hepburn

I just love Audrey. It's a wierd listen, I know. But it's very calm and relaxing and she sings in a lower octave and I find it interesting.

Love will keep us Alive -Eagles

The Eagles. Need I say more? I listened to this non-stop the summer of 2006 while away in Europe. THEN! The Eagles played in Verona, Italy (where I was living) and when I heard this song across the square (piazza), I was just so moved. I love the lyrics and music and it's classic Eagles.

So Far Away - Carole King

I love the piano in the beginning. Can you tell by my music that I have missed living "So Far Away" from Dustin?

Old Time Rock and Roll - Bob Seger

A great rock tune from the days when rock was great! He says it best when he sings "today's music ain't got the same soul!" AND who can forget Tom Cruise (before scientology) and dancing in his tightie whities and t-shirt ... and if you were a 2002 grad from Lincolnwood - you may remember a certain red-headed superstar (named Bryant!) lip-syncing for a grade to this classic...

RESPECT - Arethra Franklin

"What you want, baby I got it!" ... I love this song - and it's so fun to sing along with. It's great to wake up to and great to dance to with friends! :)

OTHER NOTABLES:

When I Think About Angels - Jamie O'Neal

Kick Some Ass - Stroke 9 (better than Little Black Backpack ... an old favorite I used to love to belt out!)

Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

Swallowed in the Sea - Cold Play

You Had Me From Hello - Kenny Chesney (Dustin and I's song...)

Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx

Desperado (LIVE) - Eagles

At Last - Etta James

If You Could Only See - Tonic

American Girls - Counting Crows

The Adventure - Angels & Airwaves

Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

.... So! I am an eclectic music listener ... You have seen how there is no rhyme or reason for which songs I like ... There is an obvious lack of hip/hop/rap songs ... I enjoy listening, but only a couple times every now and then (Kanye's Stronger, I like it).

BORED

I dont' have much to say about Memphis right now ... Super excited still - BUT! I've said that already. Tonight, my parents and I have just been goofin' around (me on Photoshop). This is what I did to them! (and then to myself because my dad called me "wicked.")

My Mom as "The Grinch"

My dad as "Frankenstein"

Me as "I have no idea..."

Just green and weird (they eyes and hair were not enough for my dad, he said if he and my mom were green, I needed to be too!)

Excitement...

I am a special kind of person - and I guess that can mean various things. I, however, mean it to point out that I do not necessarily like talking about myself. There may be many people like this in this world, but I have yet to meet them! I get extremely self-conscious when talking about myself, so I don't do this (most of the time). When I do, it may come across "matter-of-factly," with little or no emotion. I do not quite know why I am like this, but I am. It may be from experiences in high school.

I am not, however, going into why it may be from those experiences as they do not exactly relate to the upcoming topic. I am using this post as a way to clarify to my readers that I am EXTREMELY excited to be moving to Memphis. I have taken care to try and respect those around me - as many of them are not exactly thrilled that I will be gone! I do not want to leave these special people in my life, but they do not live in Memphis and must be left behind (physically speaking). Everyone will always be in my thoughts and especially in my heart. I love these people and 400 miles will not change this. Nevertheless, I have chosen not to talk about Memphis because I don't want anyone to be sad on my account! I despise sadness (and have spent too much time in my life being sad). It is a worthy emotion, but this is an exciting time in my life and I hate to make people sad because of it.

I cannot wait to experience life with Dustin. After five years together, I think we are more than prepared for this step and I am conquering my fear about it each day. So many skeptics are out there placing premarital cohabitation as a reason for divorce in younger couples. I do not believe that Dustin and I will be a statistic. We are a strong couple - communicators, understanding, trustworthy, compassionate, passionate, loyal. The only thing that can break us apart is the devil. I know that we are not married and that we still have a long way to go ... but we have been through so much together already. Unfortunately, I fear that too often people may look at marriage as a necessity to save or continue a relationship (when living together). That is NOT what marriage is.

Marriage is a commitment to each other. It is not a piece of paper. It is not a contract (except one with God). It is something to work at AND TOWARDS. I feel that by living together we will finally see how great we are as a team. I know it's going to work. I know I am going to be the happiest girl in Memphis come next weekend! I have never looked so forward to something!!! We will be working TOWARDS our future together. We are not condemning our relationship by living together and I know this. I know Dustin knows this. If he didn't feel we were right for each other, he would have never asked me to come to Memphis with him. If you know him, you would know this about him. If you do not know him, you need to know he doesn't risk much! He would never risk "us!"

There will be fights. There will be disagreements. We will get bored with each other. We will love each other. We will compromise. We will find excitement. ... This is the great part. Couples go through ups and downs. If they didn't - it wouldn't be normal! But it's the working together and coming through for each other that really makes a couple special. We are special .... We will get to once again be a normal couple -not an "IM-ing" or phone couple. We will be people again - not people through electronics and technology. I have been blessed to spend so much time with Dustin over the past year, but I have been sad and depressed in those times I cannot see him (which is, obviously, more than I see him). Being with him will lighten my life, my mood, ME. I will be ME again. This part may be the best part about my move.

SO! I am excited. This is a new chapter in my life ... and I could not be any happier. It cannot come soon enough, but a week and a half will fly by (especially considering I will see Dustin this very weekend for Mardi Gras and the Superbowl!)

GO GIANTS!!!

(Back 2 Back Manning Bowls!)

My special people (Shout-outs!):

Mom: don't worry - I'm sure you'll still drive me crazy (just from miles away!) I love you. You're my best friend.

Dad: you've been pushin to get me outta here - and you are FIFTY so I understand, it's time for a new chapter in your life too (but you will miss me .. more than anyone else!)

Amber, Chris, Makenna, Amanda: Without you, our family would seem even more crazy! I love you guys ... you are the closest to me and always will be (Memphis is south, so come visit ... no beach, but lots of music!). Also without you, "amo," I would not have one of the greatest 2 year olds in my life!

Tricia, Shane R., Kaden: I have always loved having you guys in my life. Shaner - we spent much time together in your earlier years and you are a great nephew. Stay true to yourself and don't let anyone put you down for who YOU are. Kaden: You're HILARIOUS. I absolutely crack up at you everytime we are together... don't forget me buddy! Trish. .. You are a great sister. I am sorry I haven't been a great sister. I love you so much and I will miss you dearly. I do, however, know that I will visit often and expect a visit occasionall from you too!!! CALL, EMAIL .... LOVE YOU!! Keep stayin' strong - and if you need anything, please just ask!

Cheri, Paige, Libby: Three/Four years? It feels like a lifetime already. I'm glad. I've always wanted that with you three... and now I have it. Unfortunately I have to move away now. But! That's why I do have EMAIL and phones (I'll be a better answer-er, SWEAR!). I love you girls - you girls rock ... There is a HUGE mall where I am moving (and we all love to shop!). Please come see me and talk to me often. I LOVE YOU!!!

Lori: continue being strong -but don't forget that it's okay to be tired, weak, and exhausted. You're the mother of a 2 year old! You will overcome because you have faith (and nothing can break that faith). You are a strong lady and you can overcome anything...

AVA: You are too young to read this, but you my little one, have made my last three months in Illinois the best so far. I love you! You are family - who needs to share blood? You rock. Your smile and personality are one-of-a-kind. There is no way we will ever not know each other. Email, letters, pictures, and travel will keep us together forever! I will always be your "Peppy."