Making Friends - childhood vs. adult ... is it really all that different?

We've been asking ourselves ... how do you make friends? In grade school it was very easy - you find a girl (or boy) that seems nice ... you know, who hasn't called you 'poopy' or 'stupid' ... and you ask, "will you be my friend?"

As an adult, it is different. You work with people all day and if you're lucky, you work with people you like and who are your age. You might befriend them through a common interest - like hating work together. However, if you are me, you do not work with people your own age - and if they are your age, they have children - which makes going out at night a little more tough (even just for dinner). Dustin, also unfortunately, works with 30-50+ year old men with large families... SO, how do we make friends?

You run into an old high school friend at a minor league baseball game in Memphis, that's how! Explanation?

Tonight, we had tickets from FedEx to a Memphis Redbirds game. We went, and I got hungry. FedEx also gave us vouchers for a free hot dog and soda - but we had to use the concessions on the first level - outside of the club seats. He, being a nice guy, went to go get the food and drinks. Upon his return, he said - "Look who I found..." And guess what! KENDAL ELVIDGE was the person he found! Now, I haven't seen Kendal since December 15 of last year at Laura now Wagahoff's wedding! So what a surprise to see him in this city of Elvis.

Turns out, he was visiting with Katie's friends from Memphis (Katie was with him too, of course) and they were in town for the weekend. Kendal saw Dustin on his way to the concession - but was unsure of his identity - he just looked familiar. However, as he exited the restroom he again saw Dustin' familiar face and had to find out why he knew this guy in Memphis! Turns out - I'm am Dustin's girlfriend and Dustin, Kendal, and I all went to Illinois together! They have met a couple of times - a few Nabor House parties and a wedding.

After leaving the game, we said "goodbye," "how strange," "what a small world." We started on our way - but I saw Katie and knew it was right to say hi! I then met her friends and said, "Will you be our friends?" ... It was a joke (but a serious one). They gave us cash for a drink on Beale Street with them and their phone number.

We just may have friends ... oh, and John (my new friend) had the very same idea I did just a few weeks ago ... make a match.com but for COUPLES to meet COUPLES!! This should be an interesting adventure -and a fun one. I hope we really, truly have found friends in Memphis, TN. I would be soooo happy ... and we already have that common interest --- friends with the same people!

So, I ask you a question - is making friends as an adult really all that different from making friends as a child? Nope --- you just have to ask! (and make sure they don't call you 'poopy face.')

The Weekend Tigger

My post called "Childhood realized?" was based on a book I was reading at the time: "The Last Lecture." I do recommend this book ...

A man, dying of pancreatic cancer is asked to give a "last lecture." ... You learn not only about his last lecture but also about how he is living his life. Despite being terminal, he lives each day as a "Tigger." You can either be a tigger or an eeyore in life ... who would you choose to be? Myself, I am going to try and be a Tigger from now on. You only get one life - so why waste it moping around? Sure, I hate my job and we have no friends here in the Memphis area --- but who would ever want to make friends with someone always down and complaining? I have a few new goals because of this book - and I know I can accomplish them ...




1. I am going to be a Tigger. I am going to live each day to its fullest and enjoy and savor every moment possible. Even if it's just another day at work - I will look for opporunities to liven it up -- play with the kids more, teach them something new, make them feel happy to be at school. If I do this for them and with them, it just may help my day go a little better as well.



2. I am going to live in the present. The "what-if's" and "what could have been's" are not going to be a priority. I am going to make each day a day I am proud of.

3. I am going to work hard. I am not just going to do my job - I am going to excel at my job. I am going to do anything possible to make it known I am one of the best in the field. It will take a while and it will mean I cannot be lazy. But I have a dream of not owing money and being debt-free, the only way to accomplish this is to be the best in my field so I can move up quickly (if not move out quickly like I want to).

4. I will be true to myself and others. Enough with the fake attitude that you can sometimes have with coworkers. If someone asks for an opinion I will be honest. Tactful. But honest. Lying or holding back will only make situations worse and do not help anyone involved.

... Most of all: I am going to stick with the job I have for now. I should be happy to even have a job. You do not always get to start at the top making 100K/year. Yes, some might - but the majority of us probably have to work our way up, proving ourselves along the way. No job is beneath anyone (another message from the "Last Lecture) and if that means working below another teacher for a year or so, then fine. I will be fine. I will.

So... these are my goals. Oh, and one more ... talk Dustin into getting a puppy. I was able to start this the past two days by taking him to places where puppies were being sold. First, we went to the Pet Expo - cute little puppies. Too expensive - but they still had puppy breath! Second, we went to the the Memphis Flea Market held once a month. There we saw a little lab/collie mix. Had we been able to hold it I may have a new little puppy right now. Dustin, however, can be very good at holding strong. He knows we cannot have a puppy right now in a small apartment --- SO, the next thing I did was make him drive around. We even stopped by a few houses and picked up flyers ... ;) I'm working on it. I will have a puppy and a house --- in a year? I hope so!

Finally - for the weekend, we took Mr. Bud on an adventure. He travelled outside! There he was terrified. He lay on the ground meowing so loudly, the neighbors probably thought I was hurting him. Then, Dustin started the Mustang. It's not super quiet, so Bud (who is terrified of any noise louder than a fly buzzing by) JUMPED! He pulled at his harness ... wriggling free he ran off. But he knew where he wanted to go... He darted around the garage, up the stairs, to the apartment door ... "MRRUAR." ... He wanted back inside. Fine. Inside he went.

I hope everyone else enjoyed a relaxing weekend. Remember - be Tigger. Enjoy every moment you have because you do not know when your time will be done. You don't want people to look back and think: "If only they had smiled more..."

I am going to be Tigger. Will you?

Update of top music ...

Back in, what was it, January or February ... my friend Heather talked about some of her favorite music at the time and I copied her and did my top music. I think it's been long enough and now I am updating my music. I have since moved and relocated ... my mood is different and the music I am surrounded by is different.

My musical choices are still extremely eclectic, as you will see.

1. Bubbly - Colbie Calliat. This has not changed --- and now that I have seen her live, she will probably remain towards the top for some time to come.

2. Love will keep us Alive - Eagles. Need I say more?

3. R-E-S-P-E-C-T - Arethra Franklin. I have seen her live now as well ... and she is amazing! She had the Temptations come on stage with her and I enjoyed her show very much.

4. How Sweet it is - Michael Buble.

5. I've got You under My Skin - Michael Buble.

6. Home - Michael Buble.

(if you read my post a few days ago - you would understand the Michael Buble love)

7. My Hallelujah Song - Julianne Hough. Dancing with the Stars is where I "met" Julianne for the first time and not only is she beautiful but she is charismatic and it's hard not to love her.

8. When I think about Angels - Jamie O'Neal. I recently saw her live again as well and even though this song is a bit old, it's a great country song and so relevant to how I always feel about Dustin.

9. Breathe (2am) - Anna Nalick. Also a little older (not too much so) I recently really listened to the words and was astonished at what I had been missing. It's such a great song and one I really listen to at this juncture in my life. It talks about how you cannot look back and how the only real way to look is forward and you know, if you really think about it, life is like an hourglass glued to the tabletop ...

10. He Stopped Loving Her Today - George Jones. Classic Country.

Childhood realized?

Living childhood dreams ... when you are a child, everything seems so possible. You want to be a doctor or a vet. Girls want to be the first female president (and I guess, now, they still have a chance!). Maybe a child wants to go to space and be an astronaut ...

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a teacher - no joke. I wanted to go to Harvard and get a college degree and teach. I also wanted to be a veternarian. However, I quickly realized that not all animals live forever and sometimes you even have to make the tough choice to end a life - I could never do that. I never really fantasized about being President, which is probably a good thing for this country! Now, here I am teaching. So with one childhood dream career realized, I should be happy and proud. I am. Sometimes, however I wonder what other dreams I had ... heck, I can barely remember yesterday!

I was always ready to get out of Illinois. I did that! So I guess that would be TWO childhood dreams realized.

I had friends growing up (shocker!) and I do remember some of their dreams ... One wanted to go on SNL. This same friend wanted to be part of the WNBA (and you know who you are!). Another friend practiced playing mom a lot and wanted to have a family and work with children. One of my friends wanted to be a pro-golfer (he could have done that ... maybe he still will).

I do remember that I always wanted to sing ... I wanted to be on stage and perform. BUT. If you have heard me sing or, should I say 'attempt' to sing, then you know that will probably not be a realized dream. I have to thank Playstation for giving me the chance, however, to pretend I can sing with games like American Idol (where, thank you Simon, I became America's next American Idol!).

I also wanted to be a model - but with my parents genes - modeling was going to be a bit of a tough dream (I'm only 5'2" if you don't know me). I did get the chance to apply to modeling school in 1999 as a freshman in high school. We went to Chicago and there we learned it costs most people to even try to begin a modeling career ... so that was the closest I ever got! (Unless you count my modeling shoots with Clark in college in which I was published in a local newspaper!)

Writing was and continues to be a favorite of mine ... I wanted to be writer in my sophomore and junior years of high school. Had I went to a different college, that may have been my major - but I went to UofI and did not take that road. I did have a short stint writing for local newspapers around Champaign - but it was sports writing with little or no creativity behind it.

Photography is a hobby and I would love to see what I could do with it. I guess, a dream of mine would be to be a famous celebrity photographer! I have always enjoyed America's Next Top Model ... but not for the modeling or "reality." I love it for the photographs taken and shown at the end of the program... they make it seem so easy and effortless, but after being behind a camera I know otherwise. I have had a dream to make a celebrity magazine that focuses not on fashion, not on scandal, not on lies ... but instead on the good doings of celebs and how they are just like anyone else. Sure, they have more money and sure they are pampered ... but like we get insurance and 401k's, this is a benefit of their career path (however, they have a lot of negatives that come with the job --- like the constant attention ... if some could just realize how to make that a positive!). Anyway .. that's a dream I have.

So, with that and at age 24, I'm at a place where I do not know what do with myself or where to go. I hate my job ... and even though the children are wonderful, I am having a very difficult time with going to work each day. When you work with children, you have to be able to put on a happy face and put aside your emotions. This is very tiring and wears you down quickly. However, children do have a magical way of helping you forget... whether it's a hug (or two million hugs) from Abby or a smile from Zoe, while I'm WITH the children ... things are okay. However, like I said the problem is not the children. The problem is the actual job ... I do not want to assist and I think I should have more control over a room (with the option to set it up, run it, and love it the way I want to do so). The unfortunate part of preschool life and the career behind it -I do not see that happening any time soon. I do not want to direct a program. I do not want to Lead other teachers. I want to be responsible for curriculum and for documentation ... but I do not think that this is a position ... could I create it? Not at this center ...

Now what do I do? I'm stuck ... I need to make more money (and I know money is not happiness - and I do believe in that). But, I have student loans and I did not start collecting these loans to be an assistant teacher at a center for less than 20K a year. I want (and need) to be happy and excited to go to work. I have not felt that feeling ever and I do know that feeling can exsist because I have seen my mom before going to work when she actually liked her job. I have seen Dustin go to work happy and come home happy ... I want that. I want to feel like I am doing what God meant for me to do ... A friend said tonight, pray and listen to God and he will help me find the right direction... He will, and if I only could learn to listen harder so I knew what he was saying or needed from me ...

I wonder what other types of dreams my friends had growing up and what their dreams are now - and if you are an old friend reading this - please share!

Another summer day...

I'm still trying to get used to calling Memphis "home." Every time we enter the city limits, I begin to realize that this is now my home. When people ask me where I'm from - they probably won't mean where were you born and raised, but where you reside ... And no longer will I answer with "central Illinois --- Farmersville (or Springfield, depending on my mood). Instead I will say, "Memphis."

This a sad thing. Memphis is great and all and I have enjoyed this new adventure. But I miss HOME. You know, where you can just walk into your friends' houses. I miss having friends ... I mostly lost touch after high school and while I made friends in college, they're all in Chicago and here I am, in MEMPHIS. I miss my bedroom at my parent's house. I miss having the option to go see family (even though I never did visit outside of holidays, I COULD if I WANTED to.). I miss small town drama - you know, Farmer Bob is putting up ANOTHER pig building! ... I don't think that happened, but you know - drama that is actually humorous. I miss being from a small town and the shelter it provides. But, on that ... I am very happy to be surrounded by different people from different lifestyles and backgrounds. Because even though I miss being where everybody knows your name - I do not necessarily miss everyone knowing everything you do!

All of this talk about home reminds me of Michael Buble's song.. "Home." That song is really nice to listen to ... his voice is so smooth and it's almost haunting for some reason. Probably because when he sings he reminds you of those who have died --- Bobby Darin, Elvis, Sinatra, etc. He is a modern day classic ... and I have to say I enjoy listening to him sing.

"Another summer day, has come and gone away..."

"And I’m surrounded by

A million people I

Still feel all alone

Oh, let me go home

Oh, I miss you, you know"