This weekend ...

WOW! This weather ... it's insane! One day it's GORGEOUS and I'm outside feeding ducks at the park with Ava (and a mean, grumpy goose tried to attack us). That afternoon it's icy-nastiness. Then it's just cold and windy... and now, inches upon inches of snow are falling.

I used to love winter. I looked forward to it - looked forward to the newsman saying "Panhandle District #2 - cancelled. No longer do I get to look forward to such things. Even last year, when working as a full time teacher in a daycare - I worked at the ONE child care center who did not close after over 8 inches of snow. (Seeing as how it's state run and the state did not shut down - we could not either). SO even then - after becoming a teacher I did NOT get a snow day! Here we are, one year later - and I still will not get one. Instead, I get to brave the treacherous conditions outside - making my way through the scary snow. It's not pretty when it's on the road. It's brown and grey and ugly. I hate it. However, looking outside now - I do remember my childhood days when I used to look at snow as "angel feathers." So today - despite my bitterness about snow - I shared this with Ava. She quietly and inquisitively repeated me while gazing out at the slowly falling flakes ... "angel feathers?" ... This makes the snow worthwhile.

But tomorrow evening, when I'm on the road yet again, I will probably forget this childhood wonderment about why snow is snow. I will remember that it is actually formed in the clouds and falling to the ground - nothing like the images of angel feathers. It will be cold, grey, and slick. Dustin will be driving, and while he is a great driver, I will be scared! I am always scared when I am not in control of the wheel... but he is awesome, and a great driver and I cannot wait to brave the conditions with him tomorrow. We will be going to Chicago! Mardi Gras ... Superbowl ... it will be a fantastic weeked filled with fantastic friends.

I am most excited for Saturday - Mardi Gras. On this day, I will once again be reunited with SMOLKSA! I love this girl ... she is beautiful and sweet and perfect. She is a great friend and even though we're already far away from each other, we will be only further away from each other after I move. This makes me sad. I will also see Leslie ... who also rocks. My little cousin Em makes me think of Leslie - she seems so much like Leslie. Great. Wonderful. Unique. I like unique people.

So, with only a day left until I see Dustin and all my Chicago friends, I sit here inside. I am bored - but every so often, I may venture over the window seat. There I can look outside and imagine that it's the angels' feathers shedding as spring will be here soon and if their wings have too many feathers, they will surely get way too hot! HEAT! I only know Illinois heat ... This year I will learn about MEMPHIS HEAT. It's too cold right now to think it could ever be hot again, isn't it?

I'll Do My Songs too ... :)

So, my friend Heather copied a friend of hers and listed her top songs in her most previous blog. She then said it would be "awesome" if anyone else wanted to do this as well - and well, if you know me and how I feel about music, you would know that I would be up to this "challenge." Although, challenge, I fear, is not the correct word as it is not challenging to look at my top songs on ITunes and the IPod. :) So here goes ...

Bubbly - Colbie Caillat

This song just makes me really smile. I love her sweet songs - and her voice is great. I get bubbly when I hear this tune - it's so ME. I really love her whole album, and that is why it all on my top played (however, I will not list the whole album, and instead will go on...)

Walking in Memphis - Marc Cohn

Lonestar (the country group) also sings this song - but, in my opinion, Marc's is much better. I think I just like the catchiness of the song and how it really makes me feel like I'm in Memphis. Although I do hear they play it quite frequently in Memphis, so I will soon tire of it I'm certain (but until then! "I'm walkin' in Memphis!")

Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra

Classic. Frank. You can't beat it... I'm really eclectic when it comes to music as you will surely see in this list of my top played songs (however, I do seem to think I have a pretty good taste in music... you may beg to differ, but that's your opinion!)

Far Away - Nickelback

Not new. But after seeing Nickelback live back in 2001 at the Pageant in St. Louis, I've been a fan. Far Away has been a song that really reminds me of my feelings about being away from Dustin. It is pretty sappy and nothing original ... but it is moving ...

If You're Gonna Leave - Emerson Hart

Dustin introduced me to this singer - and if you enjoyed Tonic in the 90's, then you would enjoy this singer (as he was the Lead singer of the group that brough us "If You Could Only See." This particular song is much like you may remember hearing from Tonic - and it is apparent he was the lead singer/songwriter. He did write the songs "If you could only see," and "Open your eyes."). It's really a moving song lyrically ...

I Loved Her First - Heartland

Country love song - it's pretty standard. But I love the music in the background --- it's such a sweet, simple song with a fiddle and good male voice. The first time I heard it was at a wedding I shot - and I even teared up a little (I didn't even know the bride! I was an assitant photog!)!

Lost in this Moment - Big and Rich

When I heard this song by the duo who brought us "Save a Horse, Ride Cowboy" I was a little taken aback ... it's another standard love song - but I know the words, so I sing along ...

Moon River - Audrey Hepburn

I just love Audrey. It's a wierd listen, I know. But it's very calm and relaxing and she sings in a lower octave and I find it interesting.

Love will keep us Alive -Eagles

The Eagles. Need I say more? I listened to this non-stop the summer of 2006 while away in Europe. THEN! The Eagles played in Verona, Italy (where I was living) and when I heard this song across the square (piazza), I was just so moved. I love the lyrics and music and it's classic Eagles.

So Far Away - Carole King

I love the piano in the beginning. Can you tell by my music that I have missed living "So Far Away" from Dustin?

Old Time Rock and Roll - Bob Seger

A great rock tune from the days when rock was great! He says it best when he sings "today's music ain't got the same soul!" AND who can forget Tom Cruise (before scientology) and dancing in his tightie whities and t-shirt ... and if you were a 2002 grad from Lincolnwood - you may remember a certain red-headed superstar (named Bryant!) lip-syncing for a grade to this classic...

RESPECT - Arethra Franklin

"What you want, baby I got it!" ... I love this song - and it's so fun to sing along with. It's great to wake up to and great to dance to with friends! :)

OTHER NOTABLES:

When I Think About Angels - Jamie O'Neal

Kick Some Ass - Stroke 9 (better than Little Black Backpack ... an old favorite I used to love to belt out!)

Wherever You Will Go - The Calling

Swallowed in the Sea - Cold Play

You Had Me From Hello - Kenny Chesney (Dustin and I's song...)

Right Here Waiting - Richard Marx

Desperado (LIVE) - Eagles

At Last - Etta James

If You Could Only See - Tonic

American Girls - Counting Crows

The Adventure - Angels & Airwaves

Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

.... So! I am an eclectic music listener ... You have seen how there is no rhyme or reason for which songs I like ... There is an obvious lack of hip/hop/rap songs ... I enjoy listening, but only a couple times every now and then (Kanye's Stronger, I like it).

BORED

I dont' have much to say about Memphis right now ... Super excited still - BUT! I've said that already. Tonight, my parents and I have just been goofin' around (me on Photoshop). This is what I did to them! (and then to myself because my dad called me "wicked.")

My Mom as "The Grinch"

My dad as "Frankenstein"

Me as "I have no idea..."

Just green and weird (they eyes and hair were not enough for my dad, he said if he and my mom were green, I needed to be too!)

Excitement...

I am a special kind of person - and I guess that can mean various things. I, however, mean it to point out that I do not necessarily like talking about myself. There may be many people like this in this world, but I have yet to meet them! I get extremely self-conscious when talking about myself, so I don't do this (most of the time). When I do, it may come across "matter-of-factly," with little or no emotion. I do not quite know why I am like this, but I am. It may be from experiences in high school.

I am not, however, going into why it may be from those experiences as they do not exactly relate to the upcoming topic. I am using this post as a way to clarify to my readers that I am EXTREMELY excited to be moving to Memphis. I have taken care to try and respect those around me - as many of them are not exactly thrilled that I will be gone! I do not want to leave these special people in my life, but they do not live in Memphis and must be left behind (physically speaking). Everyone will always be in my thoughts and especially in my heart. I love these people and 400 miles will not change this. Nevertheless, I have chosen not to talk about Memphis because I don't want anyone to be sad on my account! I despise sadness (and have spent too much time in my life being sad). It is a worthy emotion, but this is an exciting time in my life and I hate to make people sad because of it.

I cannot wait to experience life with Dustin. After five years together, I think we are more than prepared for this step and I am conquering my fear about it each day. So many skeptics are out there placing premarital cohabitation as a reason for divorce in younger couples. I do not believe that Dustin and I will be a statistic. We are a strong couple - communicators, understanding, trustworthy, compassionate, passionate, loyal. The only thing that can break us apart is the devil. I know that we are not married and that we still have a long way to go ... but we have been through so much together already. Unfortunately, I fear that too often people may look at marriage as a necessity to save or continue a relationship (when living together). That is NOT what marriage is.

Marriage is a commitment to each other. It is not a piece of paper. It is not a contract (except one with God). It is something to work at AND TOWARDS. I feel that by living together we will finally see how great we are as a team. I know it's going to work. I know I am going to be the happiest girl in Memphis come next weekend! I have never looked so forward to something!!! We will be working TOWARDS our future together. We are not condemning our relationship by living together and I know this. I know Dustin knows this. If he didn't feel we were right for each other, he would have never asked me to come to Memphis with him. If you know him, you would know this about him. If you do not know him, you need to know he doesn't risk much! He would never risk "us!"

There will be fights. There will be disagreements. We will get bored with each other. We will love each other. We will compromise. We will find excitement. ... This is the great part. Couples go through ups and downs. If they didn't - it wouldn't be normal! But it's the working together and coming through for each other that really makes a couple special. We are special .... We will get to once again be a normal couple -not an "IM-ing" or phone couple. We will be people again - not people through electronics and technology. I have been blessed to spend so much time with Dustin over the past year, but I have been sad and depressed in those times I cannot see him (which is, obviously, more than I see him). Being with him will lighten my life, my mood, ME. I will be ME again. This part may be the best part about my move.

SO! I am excited. This is a new chapter in my life ... and I could not be any happier. It cannot come soon enough, but a week and a half will fly by (especially considering I will see Dustin this very weekend for Mardi Gras and the Superbowl!)

GO GIANTS!!!

(Back 2 Back Manning Bowls!)

My special people (Shout-outs!):

Mom: don't worry - I'm sure you'll still drive me crazy (just from miles away!) I love you. You're my best friend.

Dad: you've been pushin to get me outta here - and you are FIFTY so I understand, it's time for a new chapter in your life too (but you will miss me .. more than anyone else!)

Amber, Chris, Makenna, Amanda: Without you, our family would seem even more crazy! I love you guys ... you are the closest to me and always will be (Memphis is south, so come visit ... no beach, but lots of music!). Also without you, "amo," I would not have one of the greatest 2 year olds in my life!

Tricia, Shane R., Kaden: I have always loved having you guys in my life. Shaner - we spent much time together in your earlier years and you are a great nephew. Stay true to yourself and don't let anyone put you down for who YOU are. Kaden: You're HILARIOUS. I absolutely crack up at you everytime we are together... don't forget me buddy! Trish. .. You are a great sister. I am sorry I haven't been a great sister. I love you so much and I will miss you dearly. I do, however, know that I will visit often and expect a visit occasionall from you too!!! CALL, EMAIL .... LOVE YOU!! Keep stayin' strong - and if you need anything, please just ask!

Cheri, Paige, Libby: Three/Four years? It feels like a lifetime already. I'm glad. I've always wanted that with you three... and now I have it. Unfortunately I have to move away now. But! That's why I do have EMAIL and phones (I'll be a better answer-er, SWEAR!). I love you girls - you girls rock ... There is a HUGE mall where I am moving (and we all love to shop!). Please come see me and talk to me often. I LOVE YOU!!!

Lori: continue being strong -but don't forget that it's okay to be tired, weak, and exhausted. You're the mother of a 2 year old! You will overcome because you have faith (and nothing can break that faith). You are a strong lady and you can overcome anything...

AVA: You are too young to read this, but you my little one, have made my last three months in Illinois the best so far. I love you! You are family - who needs to share blood? You rock. Your smile and personality are one-of-a-kind. There is no way we will ever not know each other. Email, letters, pictures, and travel will keep us together forever! I will always be your "Peppy."

13 Days...

To many, the number "13" is unlucky. I, however, do not believe this is true! This number is wonderful... and come on! Just because this number is skipped in floor numbers, airplane rows, and more doesn't mean that there isn't a 13th row - it's just the 14th row labeled incorrectly ... Anyway! - I do have a reason for talking about the number 13.

Today, Sunday, means there are only 13 days until I move away!!! It's not that I want to move away - but it's going to be so nice to finally be down in Memphis. It's been a long month (as January always is) and I'm ready for it to be over! The number 13 is also significant in my relationship with Dustin - this is the date of the day he told me he wanted to only see me! :) It was April 13th, 2003. And here we are now, in 2008, and I have only 13 days until I live with Dustin - 13 days until I live with the only person I want to spend my time with! (I'm entering cheesy territory now, and I promise it's going to end... NOW! heehee)

Yesterday I went shopping for my new job and such and walked away with a nice new assortment of clothing! I have 15 new tops (that I said I didn't need before - but they were on sale and I didn't buy them --- thanks Mom and Dad for the going away present! Now I'm just waiting on the TV and entertainment center ....)! I also bought some new pants from Victorias Secret. I have been needing my own dress pants for some time and they just happen to sell a 30" inseam (unlike every other place I love to shop). If you know of a place - please share, because as much as I do love VS, they are semi-pricey!

I then came home to work on those summer lesson plans some more - I will really need to get crackin' on that if I want to make some extra dough before I leave. I'm going to need it - because a week or two without pay is going to make bill paying tough in February. Life, however, has a "funny" way of working out - so I'm not going to dwell on this. I will just stay positive and keep working hard! With THIRTEEN days left, there is plenty of time for it all to work out.

Tonight - we started watching a movie: "Amityville Horror." I have this thing where I haven't seen most horror/thriller movies. I like to watch them and I love being a little creeped out - but now it's 2:11am and I'm still up. It's not that it was a particularly frightening movie - but sometimes I have a hard time getting images out of my head (like the little girl with the bullet hole in her head... eek!). ANECDOTE!

Four summers ago - in 2003 - I lived in an apartment that my R.A. (Sarah) rented. She was gone for the summer - so I took over for a few months. One night - I couldn't sleep so I turned on the tele and started flipping through channels. I don't even remember which movie was on, but it was a horror movie. I started to watch and became instantly scared (I was home alone and Dustin was in Peoria!)! I turned off the tv and went to my room to go to bed... easier said than done! IT (Heather, I now apologize for all those times I tortured you with his image) would not leave my brain! (This was not the movie, but there was some image association or something going on in my brain!) I definitely could not sleep - for every time I closed my eyes, I saw IT. I'm not even scared of clowns - but at 3 or 4 in the morning, I called Dustin hoping he would answer. Like the good guy he tends to be, he answered. Luckily he was able to reassure me that IT was not in the mirror across from my bed and that I really would be okay...

Heather - do you remember that time we went driving down by Litchfield? And we scared ourselves into leaving the bridge with all the graffiti? Mostly, I scared you by continuing to say how scary it would be if IT came... yeah, sorry!!!

ANOTHER SCARY MOVIE ANECDOTE:

One Halloweens ago - 2006 - I rented as many classic Halloween thrillers as I could. I had never seen many of the classics, including Nightmare on Elm Street. My roommates were floored by this and agreed to watch a ton with me. Well -classic roommate style! They were tired or had homework (I had done this to them before too... it's cool). So, instead of turning off the movie - I watched it ... ALONE. It did it's job and had me feeling all goose-bumpy (inside and OUT!). A couple of the 'mates were still up - and as I was sitting in my room they started singing the creepy little song:

One, two, Freddy's coming for you.

Three, four, better lock your door.

Five, six, grab your crucifix.

Seven, eight, better stay awake.

Nine, ten, never sleep again.

Needless to say - I now own a pink 4gb Nano because instead of sleeping that night, I did a little shopping! (Oh, and at 4am, I noticed Dustin was on AIM - so I tried to talk to him. He answered and like a good guy --- once again --- he came and picked me up. I felt much better.) Now however, he's all the way in Nashville (visiting his mom, dad, and Brenda) and I can't have him come save me from the stupid little kids from Amityville Horror!

Memphis

I remember when I used to turn on college basketball and just KNOW the Illini were going to tear it up. These were the best days ... with Deron, Dee, James, Luther, Roger, Nick, Jack, Warren, Brian, and Rich ... I LOVED these days. It was a great time to be an Illini.

Things slowly started to suck - with Deron leaving for the NBA, then the chief being tossed because of stupidity ... and now this year. Yikes. I'm almost glad most games are not available to watch through our cable package! It would be hard for me to watch. Do not get me wrong - as I will always be an Illini fan - good times and bad times and the worst times. It's almost like a marriage vow - in sickness and in health. Well, right now we're sick --- sick with a case of bad basketball! (But we're still young - and Bruce will get it turned around as he is a great coach!)

But what does this have to do with "Memphis?" Good question ... But if you know anything about NCAA basketball right now - you might be able to connect the dots.

For the first time since, I believe 1983, the Memphis Tigers are NUMBER ONE. I turned on the TV today - and being a Saturday mid-morning there was nothing on. (Except stupid cartoons - kids are really deprived of great toons --- Transformers, TMNT, Smurfs, etc...) I started scrolling though my options and low and behold! The Memphis Tigers! (They deserve to be a sentence...) They were playing Gonzaga today ... and they won. It was a fun game to watch. They have good speed - and Dorsey is just fantastic to watch. It gives me hope that I will again start to enjoy NCAA basketball ... and what better than it be a team whose city I will soon be living in!

GO MEMPHIS!

For weeks, months ... I have been forced to take a shower in this little, typical, mobile home shower. You know, just a cheap shower head with limescale build-up that shoots water in directions the water is not supposed to shoot ... absolutely nothing fancy - it sucks. I hate taking a shower in my shower! But then, today, as I was getting ready to go to the doc - I took a shower in my parent's shower.

It has a rainfall showerhead ... and was incredible! How unfair is that ... Of course they did pay for this house and I did not. I just live here for free. But I know that the day I move out is the day they get a new showerhead in "my" bathroom! How dare they!!! (It's a pre-emptive shout!)

But anyway - I did go to the doctor today. It was just the yearly type of exam ... nothing too exciting. For the first time in about 5-8 years, however, I did NOT have to get lab work done! It was great leaving with no bandaids or cotton balls taped to my arms. (I could have gotten a tetnus shot, as I am "due," but thought I would just try to avoid rusty nails.)

Tomorrow my plan is to call the dentist. yay. They are worse than doctors.

My dad also returns tomorrow. He has been gone on business all week - which allowed me to get away with so much! I have 6 pairs of shoes in the mud room, 2 coats hanging up, and my room is messy. I also have unfolded laundry in the dryer and I have not emptied the cat pan (I need to do that). When he returns though, the house will be cleaned up and ready to suck up! I want new "work" clothes!!! I do actually need them though. See, even though I have had this job (just in a different location), I did not have my own clothes. My mom is my size - or I guess I am my mom's size. That led to me wearing many of her khakis and other articles of clothing over the past year. A six hour travelling distance may put an end to that ...

I do not, on the other hand, need jeans, shoes, or tank tops! They are great pieces of clothing - but I just donated about 50-60 pounds of clothing to the needy. That's kind of a lot of clothes, isn't it?

.....

Wow! That was so exciting for all of my faithful readers ... I do apologize for the lack of interesting topics in my life lately! I think that moving to Memphis will help as I will have lots of new things to finally write about.

I am very nervous about living with a boy ... Dustin is your typical boy, too! He's messy, cluttered, and doesn't like it when I touch his stuff. But that's before we lived together. I don't know how it's going work when I actually LIVE with him! Before, I couldn't even THINK about touching his stuff! ...haha... If I tried to clean, he would get mad. ANECDOTE TIME:

One time, when Dustin lived with his best friend Gabe and Dawn, I couldn't even open his door to get into his room. I was honestly tired of visiting him because of the awful mess. It was awful. Dawn and Gabe were done too... So! Dustin went to class - and I did not have class. I cleaned. Hardcore! I put things where things logically go! You know, clothes in closets and drawers, papers in folders and in desks, trash in - well - the trash! I then vacuumed! His room was spotlessly clean and smelled nice. Dawn and Gabe were so happy - as was I. Dustin got home and he did not even care how nice it looked! He was annoyed because, "WOMAN! Don't touch my stuff!" ...

He really doesn't call me "woman" that often! And really - it was more of a joke than seriousness. He did appreciate the end result - but because a boy sometimes has a method to his madness, he could not find things. I had to help him. But now that I will also be living in his bedroom - won't it make it my stuff too? I just hope that we have a really nice, warm, inviting place ... and I can't wait to live with Dustin. I am expecting to do most of the cleaning - but he will take out the garbage! (Not that I believe there are "men" and "women" jobs - but because I really don't want to drive to the dumpster and throw the garbage over the wall!) If he does that and the dishes - I will be more than happy to vacuum and dust! ;)

I'm not 100% sure what to expect ... and it's getting SO close!!! I'm mostly excited. Yet, I do still have anxiety, nervousness, worry, sadness ... It's a big step - the biggest step we've ever taken! Mostly - I just simply cannot wait!

This was our first date! ... I can't wait to put a picture up of our first day LIVING together!

Getting the hang of this...

I was never really a "journal" person. I think I probably have at least 5 journals that have about 4-10 pages filled - and about 150-200 blank! This is much better because I'm always on here, going back and forth between email, facebook, youtube and eventually slamming my computer closed in disgust at the idiot commenting on AOL News (they can be really pathetic ).

Today, I was extremely happy. A VERY good mood. I don't know if it was two whole days off from all responsibility and just literally lounging, or the fact that Memphis is getting so close! But whatever it was, I enjoyed my mood today. I love being happy ... It could have possibly been the really cool elephant and lion hats I bought for Kitten and Mr. Bud last night too ... check these pictures out!!!

Ava was fantastic today - we had a good time reading, cleaning (she enjoys this, SWEAR!), and doing "crafty" work. I call it creative ... but her mom says craft time! It's all the same ... but very good for her! It's a great way to foster fine motor skills, creative thinking, divergent thinking, and even emotional confidence. I love to watch her face as she explores different techniques and new experiences! Although, she does get mad sometimes and cries (frustration). I try not to repeat those activities for awhile...

From there, I headed off to the daycare (the only day this week I will be going). I like to think I got a lot accomplished. I turned in the book order, finished updating immunization records, and made a center-wide newsletter. I then headed over to my old stomping ground (the RED area). Those kids are OUT OF CONTORL ... OOC! ;) I think they get away with extremely too much negative behavior. But I don't blame them - they are hardly ever given any attention >>> Negative OR Positive! The two teachers can be seen just talking to each other when some of the biggest madness ensues! However, it is NOT my classroom anymore and even though I do enforce the rules when I am in there - it is not my concern anymore. I love those children and will miss them dearly, but they are not in harm's way and their teachers are really nice (just TOO nice). It does, however, help me look forward to the three-year-old classroom in Memphis.

Until then - I will still be busy with the usual. However, Tracey did ask a favor of me today ... create the summer lesson plans for the year. I agreed. I like that part of the job the most (the fun paperwork! ... sick person I am, I know!).

Here are my weekly thoughts so far:
Bugs, Camping, Sports, America (for the 4th), Weather, Solar System, Geology, Our Bodies, the Five Senses, Summer ...

--- in that order ---

I think it sounds fun! I've planned some tentative field trips, guest speakers, and pot lucks as well. I am happy to think that Tracey (and the other teachers) will like it ... even if it's just because they don't have to do it!

Tomorrow I will be going to the doctor ... FUN. I haven't been in two years though, so I should go. I will also call the dentist to see if they can get me in before I leave. I hope - I have a great dentist here. Until later ...

GOODNIGHT!

Financial Stuff - Pretty Boring... sorry

Stupid credit card companies ... I hate them. So what if I used money that isn't quite mine YET. Does that mean they have to charge me 30% extra each month I can't pay off the total! LOL ... oh well ... Someday, I will get that card paid off and my goal is no more credit cards! If I do not have the money to buy something, then I won't buy it (unless it's an emergency of course)! I think it should actually end up being a very simple rule to follow once I get the cards paid off (and cut up!).

But I've been doing a lot of thinking... I do have a job upon moving to Memphis. This is great. It was slightly unexpected - especially considering I never really did a formal interview, face-to-face! This makes me very comfortable with my situation as a person who has some debt to take care of (I guess having those jobs will do that for ya!). SO I have set some goals. ... .financial ones.

I will have direct deposit set up (of course). From the checks I will automatically have money taken out for the 401K I hope to get set up and running this year (since I have been around Bright Horizons for a year now!). If not, then I will still take some money out and set it aside in a savings account all the way back here in Springfield, making it very difficult for me to touch (not impossible, but difficult). I will then have a set amount be directly deposited from each check into DUSTIN'S account. This will help me feel better about living with him and eating and groceries and power and cable and so on! The REST will go to BILLS. I have lots of them...

American Express

Bank of America

Chase x 2 (one is almost PAID OFF!)

Best Buy (ALMOST PAID OFF!)

Victorias Secret (PAY IT OFF EVERY USE)

Federal Student Loan Payment

AES Student Loan Payment x 2 (I HOPE THIS GOES AWAY SOON by means of a consolidation loan!)

These ... are my bills. yay. BUT, I plan to get rid of those top three by 2009. That will be my goal ... and I'm sure I can achieve it, especially with Dustin helping me out. He will, I am sure, constantly remind me that I do not NEED the new jeans and shirt that look so cute (and if they're cute enough, maybe it can be a gift for being so good and not spending all my money ... *wink**wink* ... J/K ... )

But anyway ... I know that this move will be a good thing. A VERY good thing in many ways. I will finally have a full-time job again, where I have benefits and bring home a (not great because I just had to be an HDFS major, blech) paycheck. But it's a paycheck I will be able to count on ... and that's something! Soon enough, I will be pursuing a better career to make it better..

But anyway --- Here's to someday gaining financial stability! (Until then ... I hope I just stay ulcer-free! ... money issues make my tum-tum hurt!)

correction...

At the end of my previous entry I believe I may have said... "I can't wait to add more pictures of us together from Memphis." But how can I add more when I have yet to add any??? Good question right? Well ... here's the answer - I can't add more until I add some -- so I'm adding some...

Last May = 2 trips to Memphis and great memories. Memphis is great in May (and will probably be the only time we ever get visitors - but one time a year is better than NO times a year --- LARKIN better bring his ass this year --- Along with LYNN AND SARAH and any other GIRLFRIEND/FIANCE that "couldn't" come last year...)!

I am a rockstar...

I'm a rockstar still - in aviators (I bought them that weekend, lost them that weekend. Classic.)

I don't know why I am making this face at poor Dustin ... but did you see his face? heh

That's better!

This is a picture of the true partiers --- this was around 4am at a bar on Beale Street.

(Where was everyone else you ask? SLEEPING!)

ALSO in Memphis ... THE TEMPATIONS ON MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND. Smolska, Leslie, Leslie's Mom, myself and Dustin enjoyed the sweet sounds of the orchestra as well - followed by the most spectacular fireworks display I've ever seen... We kept shoutin', "This must be the finale!!!" It wasn't ... until it was of course... And it was phenomenal!

PIC:

Picture of all of us together... there are more out there somewhere - I don't have them.

So there we have it... I am done for tonight - as the composing and HTML of this particular blog are driving me insane. I cannot get the spacing JUST right - and I can get a little OCD about these things, so I better quit now!!! Here's to MEMPHIS!!! (sooner than in MAY for me!)

Sore Throat

I have a sore throat ... I have had one for almost 4 days now and let me tell you - it stinks! I am almost NEVER sick, but when I do, I'm a pathetic, miserable, lazy girl. If I were only in Memphis, maybe Dustin could take care me! He has proven to be quite awesome about that in the past...

Almsot FIVE years ago - I had a really bad cold. I remember that one. It was still just a little chilly outside (it was April). The sun was setting a little later and my R.A. (resident advisor for the dorm I lived in) wanted to go rollerblading. I declined. I was SICK! She, however, was one persistent girl (especially when sports were involved). I finally fell for her, "it'll make you feel better," speech. Dustin, on AIM, said "Don't go. You need to rest."

Did I listen? No. I never listen. I DO WHAT I WANT! So I went ... and for awhile - I did feel really good! The fresh air and exercise seemed to really help ... that was UNTIL I stopped. Then I got suddenly worse. I guess rest would have been best. But did Dustin just say, "told ya so!" No he did not...

He came to LAR ("Lincoln Avenue Residence" hall) in the SAAB with the promise of hot, chicken noodle soup and the new Harry Potter movie (I believe it was the 2nd one!). I didn't have to get too pretty (he knew I was sick), but I did clean up a little. He called and I came downstairs (about 20 minutes later). When I got in the car - I noticed a bag from Shnuck's... he had went and bought me a can of chicken noodle soup. It was the good kind too - not just condensed! Even though he didn't have soup, when he found out I was sick - he took care of me. We had been together MAYBE 1 week (by together, I mean "exclusive!"). I felt so special ...

We went back - he heated the soup up - we turned on the movie - we cuddled. It was the greatest cold ever.

If I only had him now ... ;)

I really look forward to Memphis when I think of those little moments from the old days - back before he lived SIX HOURS AWAY!!! (But soon he'll be a room away - and I can't wait!)

A couple of pictures from the "old" days! :

I can't wait to add more Memphis pictures of us TOGETHER!

Doing nothing ...

What "should" I be doing? I want to be ready to move but I don't exactly know what I need to do to be ready ...

I've packed some things and I've gotten a job in my new place of residence - but now what? I don't know what else to pack or what else to do! I've never done this before (college doesn't really count - especially when mom and dad live only an hour away!).

I've been keeping myself VERY busy again - working two jobs now instead of a half day at Ava's. By the time I return home, the daycare children have completely and mentally worn me out. So I am not useful at all. Now it is a weekend and I continue to just sit and get nothing accomplished. Tomorrow is my dad's 50th birthday, so I know I won't get too much accomplished then either! So now what do I do? It's past 5pm and I'm lost! Clueless!!! And here I planned to go to Memphis next weekend to help Dustin clean and get ready for my permanent visit ... well that can't (won't) happen if I don't get ready ...

So that's my goal I guess for the next 5 or so days ... get something done (pretty broad goal - so I hope I can acheive it! hehe)!

Other things (not Memphis) occuppying my mind and time:
Photo stuff (I've actually been doing a photo-a-day)
Ava
Daycare stuff
SLEEP!

Pretty exciting life, no? NO! Soon enough... soon enough!

JOB!

"Department of Revenue Child Care, how can I help you?" ... This is how I answer the phones at Bright Horizons when working in the office. And this is how I answered it today when the other line asked for Miss Tracey Tisckos. "Yes, she is here - may I ask who is calling?" (We ask this of all people because credit card companies like to harass Tracey and we screen for her!). "Of course! This is Bonnie from Memphis, TN at the Nonconnah Center..."

Well! I'll stop there to inform my readers that BONNIE is the director at the center I have been waiting to hear from in regards to a job...

FLASHBACK

I visited the Nonconnah center last April while waiting for Dustin to get off of work. It was LOVELY. Great playground ... Great rooms ... Great director! I wanted to work there then (but I was still too new to transfer and they rarely have openings. Tough luck, me!) .... .... .... Well, sometimes things ARE meant to be.

Two weeks ago the recruiter for the Memphis area called me. NONCONNAH was hiring... and they were interested in ME! THEN, I find out I've never been taken off the payroll here in Springfield (I can be a transfer!).

TODAY

Then today, Bonnie called the Springfield center (looking for me, as I had left my phone at Ava's). She called to tell me that I was going to be the newest member of the BH Family in Memphis, TN!

Of course, I have paperwork to fill out and fingerprinting to do ... but starting February 18th I will be the newest Three's teacher in Memphis TN BEST CHILDCARE PLACE (of 700!!!!). By "best" you ask? I mean ... BEST. NUMBER ONE. NOBODY IS BETTER.

I will work there.

I have a job.

I will not be a mooch!

Concerns?

Now that I am moving to Memphis, I cannot say that I am not a little worried... I have made very few friends in Springfield, so at least I won't be leaving new friends. Yet, I have reconnected with some old friends from high school and while we may not be getting together every weekend it does suck to move away! I guess I just really hope I can get them to WANT to come to Memphis (I can't help but laugh a little bit ... nobody likes to come to Memphis!).

What if I can't find a job? I'm already in a ton of debt --- which I don't try to worry about too much (but it's always there in the back of my mind!). I do not, under any circumstances, want Dustin to think I am mooching off of him ... We aren't married, or engaged for that matter, so financially we are completely independent from one another, and I hope he knows I understand that! I will help pay whatever I can help pay (and I will cut down on my spending tremendously! It was a resolution anyway...).

The traffic - oh the traffic! I get annoyed enough while driving through downtown Springfield, Illinois! Right now it takes me 20-25 minutes to go about 6 miles (when I have to go through town and not around by way of interstate). From what I hear ... to go 15 miles on INTERSTATES in Memphis, it's about 40-60 minutes! AN HOUR! To go 15 miles? What am I getting myself into! Again, I laugh. I have to ... I wanted this, and I still do! So, who cares about spending a few hours each week on the interstates of Memphis? I will try not to...

MY BIGGEST CONCERN:

LEAVING AVA. I love that little girl. She's absolutely fabulous. With an infectious smile, she won me over on day one. I went to school to be "more" than a Nanny. Yet, this job is bound to end up as one that I will never forget. It has been extremely rewarding to help such a nice family - one in need. I love them LIKE family. With Lori and the things she has suffered through and overcame, I feel privileged just to know her. I hate to leave her but it's time for me to stop putting life on hold ... As wonderful as everyone is ... it's time to do more. I know I can do more.

Nursing? I hope that is in my future ... and I know that Memphis can give me that (along with great hospitals!). So that is where I am headed ... this is what keeps my mind turning everyday. I am always busy thinking ... it's what I do!

Getting ready ...

Every one was voting on it ... when was it going to happen? Bets were made (and I should have joined in - because I would have made some major moolah!) ... My sister said 6 months and so did my mom. Others were guessing right around that same mark. They were wrong! It was a year (well, 11 months!). I thought it'd be longer actually ... if it even happened at all!

December 30th, 2008 at Little Saigon I was finally asked ... "Move to Memphis with me?" ... Well I did what any girl would do. I laughed out loud. Then he asked again. Then I laughed again. That's normal right? Okay, maybe not - but I was just too flabbergasted to believe it. I didn't realize it was going to happen so fast. Once I realized the seriousness coming from Dustin - I answered. "Yes! When? ... "

I'll be moving down there in about 3 1/2 weeks now - and I'm so excited. I never thought I would live with someone before the really big step (marriage). However, after being together for nearly 5 years and after travelling so much, I couldn't be happier. I hate driving south on I-55 by myself just to leave in a day and a half and go north on I-55 by myself. It is quite possibly the worst drive ever - so my adventures in something new are about to take place...

So what do I have to look forward to now?

-Movies and cuddling

-TV shows that I want to watch (luckily, we watch the same TV!)

-No parents (Love them! but come on, seriously ... I am 24 and it's time to get out!)

...

And that's about it because Memphis actually sucks and is dirty and crime-ridden! But maybe, just maybe, every now and then we can head to a local bar and just sit and catch a good jazz band or something? Maybe take in some blues and visit a few restaurants on Beale Street (and the surrounding downtown area). So my adventures are beginning ... but first things first...

TIME TO PACK!